An author wrote once, "I write to know what I am thinking."
Arms pumping in the air, I wholeheartedly agree.
I absolutely must write to know what I am thinking. I must write, in other words, to have access to my mind. Although mind and body are not mutually exclusive - one cannot be tapped without the other - I have to disagree (even! as a yogini) in part. Thinking is mutually exclusive to me, a product of the mind. It (thinking) is an island for me, which can only be reached by one method of transport: writing.
So my conclusion about my blogspot blog is this:
Starting this blog has been the best thing I have ever done. If I could not tap my mind, I could not tap my spiritual, physical, psycho-emotional, intellectual, or energetic body. Therefore, I would be of no use to anyone, least (most) of all God, family, and country.
"Just keep a diary or journal, for goodness sakes," you might say. Sure, I could do that. Heck, I have done that since I could write full sentences, which was somewhere around second grade (I still have the diary).
My very first diary entry, in fact, was about one of my classmates who died a horrific death in a family house fire. My tiny hand wrote those words (I cannot imagine my own children's hands penning this as their first exposure to their Mind) and I can still remember reeling with emotion, compassion, and fear. Only as I wrote, could I begin to feel the full blow of her (Karen was her name) death. That is when I knew - at 7 years old, that I had to write.
I may have not wanted to write, I may have not been any good or would ever be any good at writing, but I HAD to write.
My life has been engulfed, shaded, and laced with many more deaths (and births & rebirths) since that first "blog" entry I wrote as a 7 year old. And through every experience, I have turned to the pen - and of course now, the keyboard.
As a musician, educator, and human being who is a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend - I hope that through my blog many people may come to know One Truth: Everlasting Hope.
Your Glass can always be half full, despite the deaths we are asked and forced to take, many times over in our lives. In the past two days, I have been conducting my own experiment with "Breathing In This Life" (and no it had nothing to do with the handstands or yoga postures I have done since Wednesday)...I've taken to lacquering my flat black walls in high gloss. (of course, with proper ventilation) I have enjoyed every minute of this messy project, because it reminds me of my Freedom.
You can throw, splash, spread, and brush the walls of your life any color you want - and when they look dull, or even flat black - as mine were & still are - you can varnish them to a high sheen - enough to be a reflective surface. The walls in my hallway now glisten like a pool of living water. But, only 2 days earlier - someone would have sworn they were the color of death (and that I had by no small means destroyed the sheet rock in our home).
You can take any opportunity and turn it around. This is the nugget of truth in something as silly as lacquering my flat black walls to a high gloss. There is always room for diplomacy and conflict resolution. There is always time to turn the car around. You always have the right to change your mind, just like I could change my mind next week, sand down my walls and paint them Cherokee red (my heritage).
The point is - find the outlet which allows you to know your mind. For example, I know what I am thinking through my writing. Through the almighty blog, Blogspot has provided me with an outlet to know my Self. Better. Blogspot has provided me with a platform to help others realize how to Breathe In This Life as well, which may be more important than me knowing my Own Self. Yoga of Action.
My Breathing Experience, on a daily basis, is writing. I may not blog everyday (yet), as there are two small human beings in my life that need me. But every day I write. Every. Day.
Thank goodness for the ability to know and love my mind, my body, and my soul- through the craft of writing and the invention of the "blog". In the years to come, many more people will find their way to Breathing In This Life, I Hope.
*photo is my son at 21 months. June 27, 2009