A "Fantasy State of the Union"

As American mothers our opinions may differ on many topics - from politics to diapering to schooling to daycare to working outside vs. inside the home, just to name a few.  Some of these topics cause us to draw battle lines and take sides in contentious and unnecessary "mommy wars."

However, I think perhaps, we can all agree on this statement - a country that discriminates against its own families is a country that cannot prosper. In other words, if America and its lawmakers (continue to) neglect the well being of America's families - then it cannot thrive.

Last night's State of the Union Address had many Americans tuned in - and as a mother, you are naturally (and voraciously) concerned about your children's future and your family's well being.  Your (Wo)Man in Washington blogger and Advocacy Coordinator for the National Association of Mothers' Centers, Valerie Young, has published a clever piece about just that topic.  It is entitled "Fantasy State of the Union," and it addresses the very thing which I believe, is hindering the well being of our Nation.

In it, Ms. Young details an America where:

• equal rights for mothers and families exist
• being a mother is not the most common risk factor for living in poverty.

Please take time to read Valerie's post, which she has so graciously permitted me to piggyback from her blog to mine today.  It is an urgent message that should spur our Nation's leaders to action, and should naturally spur all those who currently follow and suffer from these inequities - to stand up and lead. 

I believe her message, and others like it such as Dr. Riane Eisler and her Caring Economics Campaign, harness effectual ideas that, if heeded, can lead our country toward a more prosperous, compassionate, and solvent age - which benefits everyone.

READ FANTASY STATE OF THE UNION

As mothers, we are raising up our country's future.  Therefore, we have a voice. We have power. We can create change - for our children's future and to strengthen this, our American family and country.

What I Don't Understand About Women

I am on maternity leave through August and September, so please enjoy today's guest post by NAMC's Advocacy Coordinator, Valerie Young. Valerie writes the popular blog for mother's rights, Your (Wo)Man in Washington.

BITL Founder, Ginger, in pursuit of "pushing back" in 2010,
fundraising for women and children in Haiti
through voice and song.
Photo taken at a North Carolina festival. 2010.

I know something about women.

  

I am one, and have been for my whole life. Much of my time is spent in the company of women, professionally and personally.  

As an advocate for women's economic security, I think a lot about about our experiences. I spend more time than most looking at data and research on women's finances, economic power, and how they are affected by cultural attitudes and government policy.  I talk for hours on end to female academics, politicians, economists, lawyers, and my personal women friends, some down the street and others scattered around the world.  Most are mothers, some are not.  I've birthed and am raising children, and I’ve experienced surgical menopause, the effects of which continue to reveal themselves with the passage of time.   The art and science of being female is pretty much constantly at the front of my mind.  And I have noticed something.
We rarely give ourselves the credit we deserve.  

There is a significant gap between the efforts we make, the responsibility we assume, our willingness to put others first, and the esteem in which we hold ourselves.  I don’t understand this.  Being on the front lines of our very own lives, we know better than anyone the demanding and essential roles we play.  Yet we often give ourselves short shrift.  Consider what our lives may include:

• the physical demands of pregnancy and childbirth  
• years of varied and unending tasks required to keep an infant, a toddler, a child, a teen, an adult child living, learning, and functioning in this unpredictable and complex world
• the constantly changing compromise required by our unpaid care of family, from economic dependency, to paid work with too little time for home, to trading down our paid employment, and accepting less than we are worth, to be available to the people who need us
• part time work  without health insurance or a retirement plan
• excruciating choices, such as go to work and get paid, or stay with the sick child and don’t get paid, or worse
• in later life, we have less money than men because we earned less, saved less, lived longer and spent more time taking care of other people.  

We do this year in, year out, knowing the consequences, and not caring because we have to go to work, or the baby is crying, or the school just called, or we are too tired to even think about it.

Certainly some women are satisfied with their own blend of family life and employment.  It is not impossible, but at least in my own admittedly unscientific survey of mothers, it is exceedingly rare.  The women I know want passionately to succeed as both mothers and earners.  They know instinctively it is not one or the other, or at least that it doesn’t have to be.  They tie themselves into knots trying to be all things to their children, partners, bosses, co-workers and clients.  They want to do good work, be valued for their efforts and ability, and be treated fairly.  They want to raise their children the best they can, and are willing to give their all to whatever they are doing, whether it’s a raising a well-adjusted human being, or producing a bump up in the bottom line.  The women I know set impossibly high standards for themselves, and work hard to achieve them.

I say let’s recognize ourselves for the extraordinary creatures that we are.  We generate life, nurture, teach, grow.  We learn, strive, and work.  Our time is precious, our abilities unlimited.  We don’t realize our own strength.  When we became mothers, we committed ourselves to the service of human life.  That is no small thing.  Some portion of our own resources, energy, and purpose should be dedicated to our own interest.  So, stick up for yourself, sister!  We deserve better.  Push back against the status quo.  We have a stake in the future, for we will live there with and through our children.   How the future deals with us is up to us right now. 

Creation is what we do.  Every single day women remake the face of the world.  We have every right and every reason to make it a face that will smile back at us. 

Your (Wo)Man in Washington, Valerie Young
 
Valerie is Advocacy Coordinator for the National Association of Mothers' Centers and its netroots initiative, Mothers Ought To Have Equal Rights.  She contributes analysis of policies affecting the economic security of mothers, educates members on the political process, and promotes a society that values the work of caring for children and other family members.  She brings the lens of motherhood to her coalition work on feminism, work/life issues, older women's income security, and maternal health and well-being.
 
Valerie earned her law degree at Tulane University and practiced maritime insurance law in New Orleans for 11 years.  Before joining NAMC, Valerie worked for the National Association of Women Judges, and was a founder, along with Ann Crittenden and others, of the Mothers Ought To Have Equal Rights effort arising from publication of Ann's book, "The Price of Motherhood".  She also worked for the National Partnership of Women & Families fighting efforts to privatize Social Security, and promoting paid leave and other work/life issues.  She authored the National Partnership's State Round Up of family friendly legislation in 2006.  She lives in suburban Washington DC with her family.

Mothering in America: An Uphill Climb

BITL Founder, expecting her third
child this month (June 2011).

This week's guest post is penned by NAMC's Advocacy Coordinator, Valerie Young. Valerie writes the popular blog for mother's rights, Your (Wo)Man in Washington.

Being a mother in the United States is an uphill climb.  Alone among industrialized nations, we have no guaranteed paid leave policy for childbirth, adoption, illness, or even the occasional sick day.  Our federal pension system only accounts for paid work, leaving women with the short straw after time out bearing and raising children, tending to ill parents, spouses, or other family members.   We do most of the unpaid work in the home, and when we are employed outside the home, our income trails men’s by as much as 40%.  We lack anything near equitable political representation, we don’t occupy our fair share of board room seats, CEO suites, or participate proportionately in the distribution of financial assets around the world.  When you’ve studied gender inequality for awhile, you don’t shock easily.  But today I’m shocked.  In fact, all women in the US have a whole new reason to be outraged.  If we are to become the fit and fearless mothers Ginger encourages us to be, there is an issue screaming for our attention -  maternal mortality, in other words, women dying from childbirth or due to a pregnancy-related complication. 

Around the world, every minute of every day, a woman dies from childbirth.  This may not be surprising, as access to medical care, good hygiene, and clean water are not equally accessible.  What is astounding is that the US ranks a lowly 50th on the World Health Organization’s measure of global maternal mortality.  In other words, 49 other countries have figured out how to better care for women throughout pregnancy and birth so that more of them survive the process.  It’s true that the US spends more dollars on health care than any other country, but we don’t have the positive outcomes you’d expect in correlation.  Many pregnant women never get prenatal care, or only get it well into their pregnancies.  The latest data show that 17 out of 100,000 American women die from pregnancy-related conditions.  With 50 million uninsured, health care is beyond the reach of millions of expectant mothers.  In fact, the US rate of maternal mortality has been going up since 1987, when we hit a low of 6.6 deaths per 100,000 deliveries, and continues to climb. It has more than doubled in the past 24 years.  The good news is that maternal deaths are preventable in most cases.  Experts say that with appropriate care, the US rate could be reduced to 3 out of 100,000.

The first step in making this happen is requiring states to report data pertaining to maternal death.  Such information has not been gathered, nor is there any national record of what conditions or complications are the cause.  Legislation pending in the US House of Representatives would change that.  The Maternal Health and Accountability Act, if passed, would enable the states to count pregnancy-related deaths and create an advisory panel of medical experts to interpret the findings and make recommendations to prevent maternal death.  The theory behind the bill is expressed here by the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals:

The first step we need to take is to honor the lives of the women who have died by investing the necessary resources to identify why they died and learn from their deaths in order to prevent other women from dying. There are no acceptable excuses when we consider the fact that we lag behind most developed countries and when numerous developing countries, such as Vietnam and Albania, with much fewer resources than the United States, are making strides towards meeting their goals of reducing preventable maternal deaths, while the United States is backsliding.  http://www.arhp.org/publications-and-resources/contraception-journal/march-2011

Every Mother Counts and MomsRising, two organizations promoting mothers’ well-being, have a one click link that gets  you right to the inbox of your members of Congress, telling them you support the bill and urging them to pass it. They’ve drafted a brief message, and all you have to do is fill out your name and address to identify your US Representative.  It’s easy and effective.  http://www.everymothercounts.org/news/2011/05/christy-blogs-momsrising-may-14-2011

Motherhood is transformational, powerful, miraculous and sometimes terrifying. It doesn’t need to be deadly, especially in the wealthiest country the world has ever seen.  Passing this bill is a step in the right direction.  Please take action, click through, and encourage your legislator to step up.

If you would like to know more, here’s where to look:
http://mothersmonument.org/maternal-mortality/ 
http://www.everymothercounts.org/news/2011/05/christy-blogs-momsrising-may-14-2011
http://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2010/9789241500265_eng.pdf


Your (Wo)Man in Washington, Valerie Young
 
Valerie is Advocacy Coordinator for the National Association of Mothers' Centers and its netroots initiative, Mothers Ought To Have Equal Rights.  She contributes analysis of policies affecting the economic security of mothers, educates members on the political process, and promotes a society that values the work of caring for children and other family members.  She brings the lens of motherhood to her coalition work on feminism, work/life issues, older women's income security, and maternal health and well-being.
 
Valerie earned her law degree at Tulane University and practiced maritime insurance law in New Orleans for 11 years.  Before joining NAMC, Valerie worked for the National Association of Women Judges, and was a founder, along with Ann Crittenden and others, of the Mothers Ought To Have Equal Rights effort arising from publication of Ann's book, "The Price of Motherhood".  She also worked for the National Partnership of Women & Families fighting efforts to privatize Social Security, and promoting paid leave and other work/life issues.  She authored the National Partnership's State Round Up of family friendly legislation in 2006.  She lives in suburban Washington DC with her family.

Women's Empowerment In An Age Of Illness

Taken in 2005
Just before
giving birth to
my first son.

This week I am happy to share two blogs - written by women for women. 

• Mother and Women's Rights- Your (Wo)man in Washington
  Valerie Young
• Women's Health - Midwife for your Life  
  Stacey Curnow, CNM

Both blogs are excellently written, focusing on positive change for women in America.  Their founders are experienced women and mothers who are experts in their field.  This blog, BITL, has in the past been featured on both of these blogs.

This week I have two posts featured for those seeking to improve the status and health of women everywhere. 

• Women's Empowerment in An Age Of Illness, part 1
• Women's Empowerment in An Age of Illness, part 2

an excerpt:

Our current approach in women’s health care in the US is not working.
In the US, there are more women living in poverty and suffering from chronic diseases than men. (1,2) ...women need better access to and better health care... they need and deserve the empowerment that comes with enjoying better health. Part Two in this series will show you how you can self-empower your way to better health through a 5000 year old practice. ...Read the full post

• Overcoming Daily Struggles

an excerpt:

Life is painful. We all struggle...I have two dear friends...women who inspire every person’s life they touch. They are Alaha Ahrar and Shannon Johnson – two women from opposite corners of the globe...My own struggles pale in comparison to Shannon and Alaha’s, yet it doesn’t lessen the reality that I (and everyone else) have to wage battles and claim victory over my own losses and tragedies in life everyday. It’s embarrassing to admit we don’t have it all together, but I think if we share our pain with each other, it lessens the burden. Which is why I can say that I am now in the middle of a struggle...Read the full post

A New Work Ethic (that ends gender discrimination) for the 21st Century?

Bringing Baby to Work
(My second son at work with me in 2008)
Family friendly policy is critical, especially during the first year. 
(It helps that I own the company and set family friendly policies.)

To borrow the words of John Lennon, Imagine if...

...there was no more discrimination against women in the workplace, there was paid maternity leave for mothers and fathers, every workplace had flex-time, job sharing, compressed work schedules, the option of working from home when possible, and no child went without quality care from their parents during their first year of life...

...it's easy if you try...

Actually, these progressive workplace policies, which I believe are basic human rights, already exist - in almost every developed country except the United States.  The time to change this - to support the American family - is now.

For example, in the Netherlands, one attorney states "working part time is now the rule rather than the exception among his friends."  Fathers are taking a more active role in child rearing, which also allows mothers to continue working as well.  The difference - a flexible, progressive workplace that values the family.  In the Netherlands there are "part-time surgeons, part-time managers and part-time engineers. From Microsoft to the Dutch Economics Ministry, offices have moved into “flex-buildings,” where the number of work spaces are far fewer than the staff who come and go on schedules tailored around their needs.
"The Dutch culture of part-time work provides an advance peek at the challenges — and potential solutions — that other nations will face as well in an era of a rapidly changing work force."  Read the full article here.

Staying informed with the information below - can help you advocate for a modern workplace in your own profession. Policies such as flex-time, job sharing, telecommuting, and the Dutch concept of "flex-buildings"should be considered. At present, only 22% of American workplaces even offer telecommuting.

It's About Time

Mindy Fried, a sociologist, questions the lack of paid family leave in the US versus how common it (paid family leave) is around the world. Opponents of the recently squashed Paycheck Fairness Act argue that it is the fault of women for putting themselves in the position to have to take lower paying jobs - because they demand flexibility and more time with family. 
However, Your Wo(man) in Washington's Valerie Young disagrees, as do I.  She argues, "Women do most of the unpaid family carework in this country. Culturally and socially, it is more acceptable for women to do it than men. Is that fair? At the same time, women have to support themselves and their families. They work without the benefit of paid sick days, or family leave, or even the ability to ask for an alternative schedule. Is that fair? Is it even a good idea? Paid leave is a political issue, a gender issue, and as Dr. Fried shows below, a class issue as well." Read Mindy's full essay, It's About Time, here

What Working Women Want

A Rutger's University conference, "What Mothers Want," sponsored by the National Association of Mothers' Centers, gave this report from a recent blog post by Valerie Young.
Pamela Stone - Professional women were three times more likely than their male counterparts to interrupt their employment for "family responsibilities."  When they return, they frequently turn away from their former fields and enter lower paid, lower prestige sectors of the economy motivated by the desire to "give back" or pursue caring professions or social service.  Becoming a mother has a profound impact on a woman's values, priorities, and sense of identity.  After a career hiatus, a mother often changes both her behavior and career aspirations.  Motherhood exerts a powerful transformational effect. Read What Mothers Want here

The Glass Hammer: Shifting Gender Roles in the Workplace

From The Glass Hammer, an online community for women executives in business, law, and financial services...Director of External Affairs and the Women’s Institute at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies, Carla Goldstein reports “Women have been doing double duty since WWII, but now we need to shift our focus and figure out how we can support men and women at work; how do we ensure that parents have the time to nurture happy, healthy families?” Read Shifting Gender Roles in the Workplace here

White House Report on Jobs and Economic Security for Women in America

Family support, especially for women, in the workplace, has gotten the attention of our current administration. Here is the official report and Executive Summary on how the US intends to respond to family discrimination in the workplace.  However with the recent squash of the Paycheck Fairness Act, it remains to be seen just how or even if this administration can begin the process of modernizing the American workplace. Read the Summary and Report here

Remote Working and Productivity
Opponents of modernizing the workplace, i.e. those who might argue that telecommutinghttp://www. is not productive, should read the latest report from The Glass Hammer on Remote Working and Productivity in the US.

In the UK, businesses are reporting huge savings by instituting telecommuting.  “Fifty-five per cent of businesses are seeing more home working now than before the recession,” said Mick Hegarty, Strategy and Communication Director at BT Business. Productivity is up by 20% in those who work flexibly compared with those who don’t, he went on. BT have generated a saving of between £6million and £7million as a result of improved productivity. Read more here 

Slowly but surely...To be learned, each day add something. to be enlightened, each day drop something.

...The US can be the example of family friendly work ethics, which stand to benefit every worker - not just those with children.

More Resources
How To Negotiate Better Every Day
Remote Employment
Your Wo(man) in Washington 
The Price of Motherhood

More on Equal Rights for Mothers

New Blog posting by National Association of Mothers' Centers, Your (Wo)man in Washington, Valerie Young.

I could not wait to read Valerie's blog today as it came into my inbox and flashed, "I will not apologize for being a mother."

"What a great title,"I thought to myself. "I wonder what she has to say today."

Read on...

Get involved today and join NAMC