The Healthiest Baby (and planet) You Can Grow

The newest addition,
our littlest (organic)
pea in a pod.
October 31, 2011

Many of my friends are expecting now, just after my giving birth this past June.  I love babies and motherhood, it's no secret (since I have 3 boys now).  So I take shopping for baby items seriously - whether for myself or for my mom-to-be girlfriends.

Today's post is actually part of a gift I gave a girlfriend of mine just a few weeks ago. She is expecting her first in less than 6 weeks - so exciting! - and I noticed a few items on her baby registry that could be lurking with some toxic chemicals (aka something akin to Johnson and Johnson since they have come under fire for using toxic chemicals in their baby bath products).

We all know and have heard plenty, sometimes more than we want, about why going green is necessary. The risks of not (going green) include everything from cancer, ADHD, and hormonal imbalances in yourself or your baby, to global warming and ultimately - polluting the future planet our children will inherit.

Going green is not really an option anymore, it should be an urgent imperative for every family.  Like so many of my friends, myself included, going green means starting small and taking baby steps (no pun intended).

So, here is my letter to her, of course edited for your best interest and consumption.

My dear friend,

I hope you absorb all of this magical time you can. There is nothing as joyful as the first pregnancy. Nothing.


Here is some information to go along with your gift. When I was pregnant with Michael, I poured through the research on clean foods and baby products. I found more than I wanted to know - about petroleum based chemicals in baby wipes, and even shampoo and food! I also learned that children's vitamins had saccharin, artificial flavoring and other dangerous and unnecessary chemicals in them. Read more

The solution is clean food and green baby products - no funny stuff or chemicals in them. So I searched until I found vitamins, baby wipes, diapers, bottles, and baby feeding supplies that were made with respect for the planet and with care for the fragile nature of tiny developing humans. ;)


I wanted to share a bit of this info. with you - since things as benign as baby wipes can be toxic - once you read the label and realize what the company has put into them. So - here goes!

Save money and the planet at the same time.  These actions can include:

• Stop buying paper products (except toilet paper of course).  Okay, so occasionally I buy tissues (aka Kleenex) when there are snotty noses in the house. But other than that, we buy nothing disposable - no paper towels, paper plates, throw away cups or cleaning products, etc. Things like that. Also, we cloth diaper. It's a controversial topic, but from everything I read (and I've been following the cloth/disposable controversy since 2005) - unless you have a water shortage, cloth is better.
• Avoid GMO's and other harmful substances. Rodale press (green press) really is a fantastic hot spot for the latest information on all things organic and green parenting. Here is this morning's fantastic review on: 7 things to evict from your baby's diaper bag.
• Do not buy, I repeat, do not buy anything with these Toxic Ten in them. It's not easy, but there's nothing more to it than reading labels. Carefully.  Currently, until laws change, label reading is the only defense (or offense) we as consumers have to protect our families from dangerous chemicals.  

Here are a few more links:

• Hidden dangers in baby wipes, bottles, and more...How to choose healthiest versions for baby.
  I used cloth diapers(Fuzzi Bunz) and made my own (easy!) cloth wipes and solution.  But this article gives alternatives for moms who choose not to or cannot cloth diaper or make their own wipes.
• Excellent resource for latest information in green (and safer) living: http://rodalepress.com/.  You can sign up for their free newsletter, which outlines the latest research and findings for healthy living, food, environment, and fitness. Most important, they are usually the first (independent and not for profit agency at that) to report on dangerous chemicals found in baby toys, foods, etc. Their mantra is "Where Health meets Green."
• The New Good Life: http://www.johnrobbins.info/the-new-good-life/.  A book about eco-friendly and safer (better) living for everyone on the planet. 
  
  Through searching on the web over the last 6 years, I have found a sustainable substitute for just about every baby product a parent will need during the first 5 years.  I have found many other resources on healthy versions of things pediatricians regularly recommend.
  
  For example, if you breast feed, your MD is likely to recommend Vitamin D drops. Well, I recently went to the drugstore to find the D drops that were recommended to me by a pediatrician. The drops that are front and center on drugstore shelves are full of preservatives and artificial flavorings. I could not imagine giving my baby such a toxic brew when he's fresh, new, and has a real start at a healthy life.   So - I did some homework and found a substitute Vitamin D for the preservative-riddled vitamin D on drugstore shelves. It is (simply) vitamin D3 and coconut oil (what a relief).  Of course, it is up to moms (and dads) to read labels and discern what is best for their child.  The other option for parents are to forgo the supplements, such as the Vitamin D drops. However this argument is a drop in the well of many controversies on raising baby.
  
  Anyhow - not to overwhelm you - but as you know, you are your biggest advocate for yours and your baby's best health. The western system of medicine can sometimes be guilty of practicing medicine based on patient (or practitioner) convenience rather than what is best or evidence based - and this short sighted model is typically and overwhelmingly not planet or people friendly (or sustainable in the long run).
  
  I do hope this helps and encourages you. It's truly my passion to help moms and babies have their best, most natural, most gentle start!
  
  
  
  
  

Is Your Kid A Food Snob? (maybe she/he should be)

A few weeks ago I was researching preschools and childcare in the area.  During my search, I had a wonderful conversation with the director of a preschool about giving your child a (um) "golden palate."  In other words, how do we raise up our children to seek out and enjoy healthy, whole foods?

Here is the answer I gave the preschool director. I hope it helps you in your journey as a mother or woman who cares for, works with, or just loves children.

Hi Joan (not her real name),

I commend you for attempting to feed the children healthy food. However, it is tough to offer (and have them actually eat) healthy food if they aren't any at home.  

As a physical therapist and health coach, I am also a long time teacher. If I could make a suggestion for your lesson plans - you might consider including nutrition as part of what you teach the children. Teaching healthy choices as part of your lesson plan may actually turn out to be what helps a child most in life...we need to help prevent chronic disease and debility in our future generations.  Adults behavior easily imprints children at this age - and leading by example, which includes serving healthy meals and snacks - would go a long way toward ensuring the future health of our nation's children.

Epidemic Unhealthy Eating Is Creating Premature & Preventable Chronic Disease In America's Children 

Childhood obesity, diabetes, and inactivity is now considered epidemic in America's children today.  Our crops in America are laden with pesticides, genetically modified organisms, and harmful antibiotics and insecticides.  These chemicals have been found in the bloodstreams of our children and in pregnant women, not to mention in cancerous tumors of the breast. Now the USDA is even considering including "organic" food as part of the food pyramid, because of all the serious health risks associated with non-organic foods.

My Story

On a personal note, it was not until the late 90's that I realized how toxic my daily diet was.  I was consuming high fructose corn syrup, artificial flavorings, pesticides, and many unidentified artificial ingredients, now dubbed as "food technology," without even knowing it. Low-fat was all the rage, and I was a naive consumer of all those chemically laden, high sugar, high sodium products.  (And yes all of those poisons are in many, or I daresay most, conventional high sugar cereals and snacks.)

High fructose corn syrup is being linked to childhood obesity, diabetes, and attention deficit disorder, to name a few. Many of those foods also contain parabens and propylene glycol - the later of which is a cancer causing petroleum (yes, oil) derivative.  In addition, serving ware and storage containers made of plastic often contain BPA, a chemical known to alter hormonal function - especially in women, children, and pregnant women. read more on harmful effects of BPA

Raising Up A Food (and serving ware) Snob

It was through reading the following texts below, that I began to recalibrate my own palate. I eliminated all processed food - which meant basically anything that came in a box ready to eat. Today, if my children eat snacks or "treats," I make sure they have no high fructose corn syrup, artificial flavoring or preservatives.  In addition, when possible and where necessary, all of their food is organic.  I rid our home of dangerous plastic containers, and use food containers to pack snacks and lunches such as Lunch Bots and Klean Canteen.

I have studied western nutrition and holistic nutrition through Chinese medicine and Ayurveda (Indian medicine).  Now, I counsel all of my patients and students across the United States about the dangers of consuming a typical "American" diet.  Americans suffer from more chronic diseases, including heart disease, stroke, obesity and many cancers that are preventable with diet and exercise, than any other nation in the world. Our children do not need to inherit these diseases or our current nutritional (or lack thereof) habits.

Resource List

Below I have a list of resources you might want to send home to parents, in addition to teaching the children about nutrition. It can also be a way to reintroduce a new food program that is holistically balanced.  All of these changes can help parents create a clean (and discerning) palate for their children.  Once children are accustomed to eating whole foods, the taste of artificially flavored and high sugar foods will become unpalatable.  For example, my children used to eat sugar on their cereal (a well meaning family member started this trend).  So last fall I took cereal out of their diet altogether and made a cooked breakfast each morning.  This summer, when the weather lent itself more easily to cold cereal - I reintroduced the cereal (the organic version of Cheerios, of course).  I did not offer them any sugar.  The result? They have been happily eating non-sugared cereal all summer long, never once having asked for sugar.

Seasonal Eating

As summer now gives way to fall, I also recommend eliminating cereal from your children's diet in keeping with Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine recommendations. I rely on making "warm breakfasts," rather than cold.  I make whole grain (or gluten free for those with allergies) pancakes from scratch with maple syrup (grocery store syrup is one of the worst "food technology, high fructose corn syrup offenders. Just say no!), oatmeal, eggs, soy based breakfast foods, and the occasional meat. My children aren't vegetarian, but neither does our family rely on meat. I serve it only 1-2 times a week.  The rest of the week they eat vegetarian protein(s) and are thriving wonderfully. And as a side note - it does not take that much time to prepare a healthy, whole food meal.  Opening a box may seem convenient, but the health of our children is more important than convenience. In addition, I also get to teach my children about the joys of Slow Food and it is a wonderful way to create quality family time together (not to mention great memories and great food!).

Treats & Desserts

When I do bake desserts, we make organic versions. Cupcakes (yes, actually!), cobblers, pies, cakes - nothing is off menu for my children.  I don't even restrict them from eating candy - but I have educated them as to what is in it and what it does to their body (not to mention their teeth!).  I want them to be able to make  informed decision(s), rather than me playing the eternal (and not very effective) role of the rigid maternal nutritional food police.

The result?

I use my own family as an example.  My 4 year old declared he is eating no more candy or junk food - including his favorite - lollipops. (we'll see how long this lasts) However, to my surprise, he's kept this trend up all summer - and he shows no signs of dropping his new habit.

Instead of junk food, he eats fruit and the desserts that we make together; and, when offered what he labels "junk," which generally includes chips, snack foods, and all candy - he declines 99% of the time.  I can recall 2 instances where he accepted a lollipop - and both times he declared to everyone in the car (we were at the bank where the teller, the world's sartorial lollipop dispenser, always tailors the treats in favorite colors), "I am only eating 1 lollipop today, because they don't make me big or smart and I don't want holes in my teeth." Of course, I smiled inwardly and outwardly ~ a mother's greatest dream (or at least partly) - I have created a food snob, or at least a foodie who can discriminate between high quality and low quality (or no quality) food. 

He has learned about organic gardening, picking fresh fruit right out of the trees and off vines.  He has aso learned about cooking from scratch with whole foods.  As a result, he has a rather refined and sensitive palate for a 4 year old. (It took me almost 30 years before I started to develop one.) For example, before he could even speak he could taste the difference between jarred spaghetti sauce and our homemade organic version. (he wouldn't eat a second bite of the processed/jarred kind).

Expanded Resource List

I say all of this to encourage you, and to applaud you for your efforts to feed children healthy cereals and snacks.  I am going to bet that if you institute a new nutrition program as part of your lesson plans - about balanced nutrition and the importance of eating whole foods as close to their original source as possible (i.e. eating locally, seasonally, and organic)- you will help change a nation's nutritional habits, one child at a time.

Here are the resources I give to patients, which you can share with parents:

Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the American Meal - a well researched book about the underbelly of American fast food

Food Inc.: A Participant Guide: How Industrial Food is Making Us Sicker, Fatter, and Poorer-And What You Can Do About It

Food Rules: An Eater's Manual

In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto

Disease Proof Your Child: Feeding Kids Right

Food You Should Always Buy Organic

Seven Reasons Why Kids Should Drink Organic Milk

The Green Guide - a guide to living healthy, responsibly, and preventing disease

Lastly, for those parents already organically saavy in the healthy eating department - the next level to improve health even more is consuming an Anti-Inflammatory diet, endorsed by physicians, nutritionists, and holistic nutritionists globally. You can find an example of The Anti-Inflammatory Diet here.

The list of resources is certainly not exhaustive, but it is a good start toward empowering parents to help their children live a long and healthy life.
I hope this helps you in your teaching and passion for children's education and  many blessings to you in the new school year.

*photo is of Michael baking his first organic apple cobbler with oatmeal topping, in a NC pottery crock gifted to him by his great grandmother. He insisted on wearing his bicycle helmet for the event.

How to Stay On A Permanent Vacation

Hello Dear Readers,

I am bound for Philadelphia, so I am taking a vacation this week - but not really.

You will find me vacationing, not in Philly although there are some great sights to see there, while making a "first ever of its kind" presentation to a national audience. I'll be speaking on the unique methods that medical professionals can use to employ medical therapeutic yoga in athletic training and rehabilitation settings.

Turns out, last year The National Athletic Trainers' Convention invited me to speak on the very topic I have been practicing since 1995. So this Thursday I'll be in vacation mode while presenting: Complementary and Alternative Medicine in Practice: Using Evidence Based Yoga to Evaluate the Athlete.

For those of you who have a professional interest in my work you can find me here:
Location: NATA Annual Convention June 24, 2010 Thursday, 7-9 am Philadelphia, PA
Presentation: Complementary and Alternative Medicine in Practice: Using Evidence Based Yoga to Evaluate the Athlete
Author: Ginger Garner MPT, ATC ERYT-500, PYT, Founder & Executive Director of Professional Yoga Therapy
Assistants: Terersa Donahue, PTA, PYT, and Eleanor Liebson, OT, PYT

Otherwise, what's your take home message?

A vacation is a state of mind. Although I did just return from a much longed for but surprisingly last minute vacation with my husband, I am working on remaining in this "vacation state of mind" as long as I can sustain it. (kind of like trying to stay in a meditative, calm, serene state long after your meditation or yoga class has ended).

You know, it's tough work staying this relaxed all the time - trying to stay in vacation mode - but it is working! But now faced with making this presentation, I am going to have to take the commitment level up a few notches. It will be rather hard to stay in my "vacation state of mind" while making a first ever presentation to a huge group of medical professionals - an ever intelligent but also healthily skeptical group of human beings (this won't be easy for me to do).

However, I am committed to the task. After years of trying (sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing, but always picking myself up, dusting myself off, and trying again) to stay on the Constant Prayerful Meditation Wagon, I realize that I don't need to wait for years to get on the Constant Vacation Wagon. I just need to go there in my mind, and realize that, in the words of Jon Kabat-Zinn, "where ever I go, there I am."

In other words, I don't have to be touring a cathedral in Europe (my kind of vacation) or lounging on the white sands of some distant Pacific island (not as enjoyable as Europe for me) to be able to relax, renew, and restore. I just need to flip the "vacation" switch in my mind.

So here it goes - this week I am working in the trenches of the "healing arts field" 7 days in a row. The first part of the week I gave my all in "administering the healing arts" through back to back vocal performances at concerts in North Carolina. The latter part of the week will find me trying to do the same but through a very different channel - physical therapy, athletic training, and medical yoga.

I am determined, though gently and steadily, that I will retain the joys of touring that Cathedral in Europe (yes, I actually did do that two weeks ago on my real, physical vacation) or eating a great Italian meal in Tuscany (jeez, it has been 12 years since that vacation) - no matter where I am.

So when you get mired up in the drudgery of your work week - remember that you can choose to be determined too. Take yourself where ever you must travel in your mind in order to stay present, focused, pleasant, calm, and content. Whichever imagery works best for you, whether it is a "Vacation State of Mind" or a getting on the "Constant Prayerful Meditation Wagon," remember that at any time, any place, and in any circumstance - you have the power to source those deepest feelings and memories that bring you great joy, great healing, and a great inner (and outer) peace. I believe that is yoga's greatest gift.

*photo was taken just outside the Bath Abbey, in the square, two weeks ago. Bath, England

Living A Balanced Life - Ginger's Latest Speak

February 12, 2010 Update - Two posts featuring Ginger were published today on attaining balance - physically, socially, relationally, and spiritually, and emotionally.

Guide to Great Posture - interview of Ginger about postural tips

How I Manage Work/Life Balance - guest blog by Ginger published by National Association of Mothers' Centers in Washington D.C., founded by Pulitzer Prize nominee and advocate for mothers, Ann Crittenden

Message from Healthy Child, Healthy World

An important universal mantra for all parents, no matter what non profit organization you support. There is nothing more important than the health of your child.

Stillness This Season

How do you find a moment's peace during the busiest (and unfortunately the most consumer driven!) time of the year?

Recently, a student of mine wrote a poem and sent it to me. She wrote, inspired by the progress she had made during the brief time I worked with her using Elemental Renewal. Through our work she rediscovered her strength, discipline, and appreciation of a slower and deliberately minimized approach to living, breathing, and moving.

Here is the poem she shared with me.

Stillness
K. Hudson
written on Emerald Isle, NC
November 7, 2009

Let me let the stillness be.
Let me let the "me" by "Me."
In face of You sometimes I flee,
rushing, doing, busily.

Let me let the stillness be.
Let me slow and breathe and see.
Let me feel my hand touch Me.
Let my heart rise and break free.

Just who is it that must allow?
Who bars the way, the path, the how?
Who uses fear to bend and bow?
Is it me who blocks the Now?

Let me let the stillness be
I choose then Now to trust, to see,
accept the fear, embrace that Me.
I love and let You. I am free.

And when I let you work in Me
I finally let the stillness be
And in that Being then I see
In the stillness, You are Me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Her poem is an impassioned plea we should all hear.
Stop and Be Still. Know the reason, whether or not you believe, that we celebrate this Season. It exists and persists to spread Hope, Compassion, Grace, and above all, Love.
Share Joy with someone today. Because we are all intertwined, when you Embrace others, you yourself will be Embraced.

Stop Stress In Its Tracks, Day 3

Okay ladies, here are my last "real time" stress busters (for this week anyway).

1. Stress scenario: There is not enough time in the day to get everything done.
2. Solution: This is a tough one, but we must tackle it.

Identify time wasters:

• Cut out TV. Completely. Even get rid of your TV. We did in 2004. We only recently got a small one so our kids can watch their DVD's. Public television is the only channel my children watch now. My husband and I only watch State of the Union addresses, or in the case of an election year, we watch the political debates. Instead of wasting our time with TV, if we want to watch something important, we will order it via our Netflix account. In addition, there is no TV during any family time, such as dinners, and no more than 2 PBS shows or 1 movie (i.e. the time it takes to watch a movie) a day.
  
• Cut back on Internet. We connect to the world via the Internet, so we get what we need and not what we don't (ads, silly pop culture, violence on the evening news, etc.). I use the Internet for reading news, work, shopping, and some social and professional media (once/week usually). However we can still have the tendency to surf the net too much. Now we observe the following: No Internet or computers during the dinner hour, between 5-8 pm. No Internet during any family time. This means no texting, no cell phones, no TV, no outside interruption. Same goes for email. As I mentioned previously, try to only check your email two times a day. Hovering over your email all day is not productive.
  
• Get rid of your land line & then don't answer your cell phone. I stand by my Grandfather Garner's philosophy. "Say what you need to say, and get off the phone." Yes, even as a teenager, I stood firm on this philosophy. If you do not need a land line, then get rid of it. It will also save you some money each month. I only use my cell phone when I absolutely must. My whole family knows I do not like to use the phone. Now my cell phone rings only when the caller has something important to say.
• Don't buy tabloids or fluff magazines. Yes, I have been known to read a copy of House Beautiful as intensely as I teach a yoga class. However, our society should know better than to fuel pop culture demand for gossip magazines. You know, the ones that discuss celebrity's private lives and make us feel either good or bad about our self image. It's easy. Just don't do it. Put that money you would spend into your children's' stock portfolios.
• Don't overdo a task. This is similar to talking on the phone. Only do it if you must. Think about what you are going to do before you are going to do it. For example, making a grocery list. I have this nifty list that divides whole foods into categories, so you can check a box and then go straight to that section in the store. No time wasted and no impulse buys.
  
• Get rid of the clutter. This applies at several levels.
  

1. Don't bring junk mail into the house. Stand at your recycling bin and toss it as soon as you take it out of the mailbox. We all know physical clutter, this includes extra body weight, can create mental clutter. Better yet, take action to reduce or eliminate receipt of junk mail altogether.
   
2. Get rid of one item for each new item you purchase. This especially applies to clothing and furnishings. Stop consumerism.
3. Don't have a junk drawer. I don't. Every drawer in my house has a purpose. There is no need to waste a drawer, or any storage space, to hold junk. Either the junk can be re purposed, given away to someone who won't consider it junk, recycled, or trashed.
   

• Make things hover. I know this one is strange, but it is my favorite. My husband can vouch for that. Carefully plan your rooms. The more things you have sitting on the floor, the more cluttered (and less usable) a room feels. For anything that remains in one spot more than a week, you need a designated place and storage method for it. Mail, laundry (dirty and clean and the stuff that is in the "holding" area to be put away, ironed, or taken to the cleaners), reusable grocery totes, hats, shoes, wine. I try to create proper storage so things can "hover" - that way, I can whisk around the room and tidy up in a flash. Shockingly, I have no problem with my family, including my husband, leaving things all over the house. If you create a practical, user friendly method for organization, then it will be easier for your family to use that that to leave it on the floor. Trust me. Making things hover really works.
  

1. Stress: Immediate overload. You need help now!
2. Solution:

• 10 minutes of Yoga. I used to practice for 90 minutes a day on average. Now, I actually practice for no more than 30 minutes 4-6 times a week, and am in better shape. (yes, I know. less is more.) Some days though, especially when my children were infants, I only got 10 minutes. It still got my pre-baby body back, and I had instant stress relief. Follow me on You Tube to get fit.
  
• Time away from kids, or your job, etc. This can be anywhere from 10 minutes to 10 days! I know it is obvious, but as women, we never have time away. Take it today. Recharge.
  
• Pray. Return to your spiritual roots. Faith and hope are our greatest weapons against burnout and stress. Believe. Meditate. Begin your day with hope. You can do it anywhere.
  
• Volunteer. The surest way to help yourself is to help others. I observe my boundaries (see day 1 and 2 blog), but because I have identified and eliminated time wasters, I still have time to give. And, I am teaching my children a valuable lesson about helping those in need.
  
• Focus on relationship building. We are not created to be independent, solitary, isolated creatures. Human beings were created for relationship. Cultivate them.
• Count your blessings. Recognize milestones. Look at what you have accomplished, rather than what you have not. You are amazing!

3. Overall Benefits: More time for You. More time for Others. A Greater Appreciation for the human race. A second (or third) chance to Live and Love Life. A great way to Live in Gratitude.

Now I am going to settle into my own stress relief mode. Starting today, I am unplugging from technology for 1 whole week.
Yes, I am practicing what I preach.
"See" you in 1 week.

Stop Stress In Its Tracks

Sometimes it creeps up on you, sometimes it crashes into you, sometimes it consumes you, but frequently it seems, stress seems to be just around the next corner. My day is going smoothly, and then something ALWAYS happens to interrupt my "zen" flow.

Reality! You wake up late or you wake up too early. You forget your cell phone or you accidentally wash (and dry!) your cell phone (me with pregnant brain during my second pregnancy). You grocery shop and then leave the groceries at the store (my cousin and dear friend, right after the birth of her second child). You make up your child's bed neatly and, in the meantime, he or she is hard at work sabotaging your latest manuscript (kids love laptops, especially mine!). You go to work to provide family financial stability, but in the end you have no time to spend with the family you are working so hard for.

Mothers, the original gurus of multi-tasking, can have a pretty long "stress" list. In fact, the more we multi-task, the more stressed and less efficient we become. (can I get an amen there?)

So this week, I will share "real time" stress relief secrets. This means I will offer up stress relief tips that work in real life - like the ones I use while I try to get my kids to nap so I can finish this blog or the ones I use when the kids spew their oatmeal at each other as I (try to) concentrate on answering work email - you know - that kind of "real time".

Even now, as I work, I am listening to my oldest sing his own nonstop rendition (by request) of happy birthday to his brother (it's not his birthday) while they "nap." So here it goes....

7 Ways to Stop Mommy/Wife Stress In Its Tracks:

1. Stressful Scenario: The kids are not listening to you (boy if I had a nickel for every time this happened).
   
2. Solution: Whisper, don't shout. I use to shout, but after a year of chronically losing my voice I learned something neat. When I spoke in a tone closer to a whisper than a shout, my kids listened more. Also, stick around until you get the results you are looking for. In yoga speak, this means helping a student align their pose, then not moving on to the next student until they have achieved the safe alignment you want. The same is true with children. To get them to nap, I hung around outside their bedroom door. (I recently moved them into a shared room, so bed time has gotten very interesting.) Each time I would hear little feet on the floor, I would open the door and calmly remind them to stay in their beds. I also tossed in a carrot - I told them "we will have more time for fun after their nap if they go to sleep now." The results were profound.
3. Benefit: You don't have to get anymore headaches from listening to your head roar. You can prevent wrinkles from not having to twist up your face in exasperation all the time. Your posture will improve because you can take the time to bend down on one knee and explain to them why they are in trouble, instead of hunching over or throwing your head back to get your voice to travel the furthest distance at the loudest volume possible. Lastly, your shouts become more effective when they are truly needed (like a dangerous situation of running into traffic, etc.), They will be less likely to think you are "crying wolf" and will be much more receptive to you. I get lots more "I wuv you's (I love you's) from my kids for shouting less and speaking gently more.

1. Scenario: Your husband is not listening to you. (hmm, another nickel anyone?)
2. Solution: One of my biggest pet peeves is repeating myself. And, there is nothing worse than repeating yourself when no one is listening. So when this scenario arises, I remind myself that no one is a perfect listener. In addition, not many people digest information after they've only heard it once. (can anyone pass that physics or biology test after only reading the information once?) Remind yourself that everyone is fragile and you are not the center of the universe. Your husband is likely as stressed as you are. Ask him what he may need to get off his chest as well. The fact is, how well can you pay attention to details if you are already overwhelmed with information (aka hyper stimulated)? If these reminders do not work, send your partner an email or write a short letter. Consider it a "love letter". A means for really slowing down to say what you mean. When is the last time you wrote one a love letter to your partner? Do it today. Lastly, try to avoid working out problems during chaotic times. I am not a procrastinator. In fact, I am the anti-thesis of a procrastinator. But for working on marital bliss with your partner, sometimes procrastination is a good thing. Instead of trying to work through a disagreement while the kids are also melting down, postpone it. The immediacy of what you disagreed over will subside. Let yourself mellow for a while (not steep!), and see if you can speak about it when the situation has calmed itself.
   
3. Benefit: Improved communication, hands down. By far, the biggest troublemaker in a relationship is lack of or ineffective communication. Usually, it is because of anger or expectations. (i.e. You get angry because expectations were not met. For example, "I thought you were going to pick up the groceries. or I thought Friday was our date night? or I cannot believe you said that to me.") Explain what you mean, without animosity or hidden agenda. If you cannot do it out loud, do it in writing. Many times, you can explain things better if you write them out first, and you are less likely to let anger dictate your speech.

Stay tuned...5 More Stress Busters to come this week!

*photo taken in June of this year during a trip to Grandfather mountain. ...a typical day in the life of any mother....