Women's Empowerment In An Age of Illness, Part Two

I am on maternity leave a little longer, so please enjoy today's post from my October publication in Yang Sheng magazine. 


Empowering Women in an Age of Illness, Part Two

Women's Empowerment in an Age of Illness

I am on maternity leave through September, so please enjoy today's post from my September publication in Yang Sheng magazine.


Women's Empowerment In An Age of Illness

Mothering in America: An Uphill Climb

BITL Founder, expecting her third
child this month (June 2011).

This week's guest post is penned by NAMC's Advocacy Coordinator, Valerie Young. Valerie writes the popular blog for mother's rights, Your (Wo)Man in Washington.

Being a mother in the United States is an uphill climb.  Alone among industrialized nations, we have no guaranteed paid leave policy for childbirth, adoption, illness, or even the occasional sick day.  Our federal pension system only accounts for paid work, leaving women with the short straw after time out bearing and raising children, tending to ill parents, spouses, or other family members.   We do most of the unpaid work in the home, and when we are employed outside the home, our income trails men’s by as much as 40%.  We lack anything near equitable political representation, we don’t occupy our fair share of board room seats, CEO suites, or participate proportionately in the distribution of financial assets around the world.  When you’ve studied gender inequality for awhile, you don’t shock easily.  But today I’m shocked.  In fact, all women in the US have a whole new reason to be outraged.  If we are to become the fit and fearless mothers Ginger encourages us to be, there is an issue screaming for our attention -  maternal mortality, in other words, women dying from childbirth or due to a pregnancy-related complication. 

Around the world, every minute of every day, a woman dies from childbirth.  This may not be surprising, as access to medical care, good hygiene, and clean water are not equally accessible.  What is astounding is that the US ranks a lowly 50th on the World Health Organization’s measure of global maternal mortality.  In other words, 49 other countries have figured out how to better care for women throughout pregnancy and birth so that more of them survive the process.  It’s true that the US spends more dollars on health care than any other country, but we don’t have the positive outcomes you’d expect in correlation.  Many pregnant women never get prenatal care, or only get it well into their pregnancies.  The latest data show that 17 out of 100,000 American women die from pregnancy-related conditions.  With 50 million uninsured, health care is beyond the reach of millions of expectant mothers.  In fact, the US rate of maternal mortality has been going up since 1987, when we hit a low of 6.6 deaths per 100,000 deliveries, and continues to climb. It has more than doubled in the past 24 years.  The good news is that maternal deaths are preventable in most cases.  Experts say that with appropriate care, the US rate could be reduced to 3 out of 100,000.

The first step in making this happen is requiring states to report data pertaining to maternal death.  Such information has not been gathered, nor is there any national record of what conditions or complications are the cause.  Legislation pending in the US House of Representatives would change that.  The Maternal Health and Accountability Act, if passed, would enable the states to count pregnancy-related deaths and create an advisory panel of medical experts to interpret the findings and make recommendations to prevent maternal death.  The theory behind the bill is expressed here by the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals:

The first step we need to take is to honor the lives of the women who have died by investing the necessary resources to identify why they died and learn from their deaths in order to prevent other women from dying. There are no acceptable excuses when we consider the fact that we lag behind most developed countries and when numerous developing countries, such as Vietnam and Albania, with much fewer resources than the United States, are making strides towards meeting their goals of reducing preventable maternal deaths, while the United States is backsliding.  http://www.arhp.org/publications-and-resources/contraception-journal/march-2011

Every Mother Counts and MomsRising, two organizations promoting mothers’ well-being, have a one click link that gets  you right to the inbox of your members of Congress, telling them you support the bill and urging them to pass it. They’ve drafted a brief message, and all you have to do is fill out your name and address to identify your US Representative.  It’s easy and effective.  http://www.everymothercounts.org/news/2011/05/christy-blogs-momsrising-may-14-2011

Motherhood is transformational, powerful, miraculous and sometimes terrifying. It doesn’t need to be deadly, especially in the wealthiest country the world has ever seen.  Passing this bill is a step in the right direction.  Please take action, click through, and encourage your legislator to step up.

If you would like to know more, here’s where to look:
http://mothersmonument.org/maternal-mortality/ 
http://www.everymothercounts.org/news/2011/05/christy-blogs-momsrising-may-14-2011
http://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2010/9789241500265_eng.pdf


Your (Wo)Man in Washington, Valerie Young
 
Valerie is Advocacy Coordinator for the National Association of Mothers' Centers and its netroots initiative, Mothers Ought To Have Equal Rights.  She contributes analysis of policies affecting the economic security of mothers, educates members on the political process, and promotes a society that values the work of caring for children and other family members.  She brings the lens of motherhood to her coalition work on feminism, work/life issues, older women's income security, and maternal health and well-being.
 
Valerie earned her law degree at Tulane University and practiced maritime insurance law in New Orleans for 11 years.  Before joining NAMC, Valerie worked for the National Association of Women Judges, and was a founder, along with Ann Crittenden and others, of the Mothers Ought To Have Equal Rights effort arising from publication of Ann's book, "The Price of Motherhood".  She also worked for the National Partnership of Women & Families fighting efforts to privatize Social Security, and promoting paid leave and other work/life issues.  She authored the National Partnership's State Round Up of family friendly legislation in 2006.  She lives in suburban Washington DC with her family.

Women's Empowerment In An Age Of Illness

Taken in 2005
Just before
giving birth to
my first son.

This week I am happy to share two blogs - written by women for women. 

• Mother and Women's Rights- Your (Wo)man in Washington
  Valerie Young
• Women's Health - Midwife for your Life  
  Stacey Curnow, CNM

Both blogs are excellently written, focusing on positive change for women in America.  Their founders are experienced women and mothers who are experts in their field.  This blog, BITL, has in the past been featured on both of these blogs.

This week I have two posts featured for those seeking to improve the status and health of women everywhere. 

• Women's Empowerment in An Age Of Illness, part 1
• Women's Empowerment in An Age of Illness, part 2

an excerpt:

Our current approach in women’s health care in the US is not working.
In the US, there are more women living in poverty and suffering from chronic diseases than men. (1,2) ...women need better access to and better health care... they need and deserve the empowerment that comes with enjoying better health. Part Two in this series will show you how you can self-empower your way to better health through a 5000 year old practice. ...Read the full post

• Overcoming Daily Struggles

an excerpt:

Life is painful. We all struggle...I have two dear friends...women who inspire every person’s life they touch. They are Alaha Ahrar and Shannon Johnson – two women from opposite corners of the globe...My own struggles pale in comparison to Shannon and Alaha’s, yet it doesn’t lessen the reality that I (and everyone else) have to wage battles and claim victory over my own losses and tragedies in life everyday. It’s embarrassing to admit we don’t have it all together, but I think if we share our pain with each other, it lessens the burden. Which is why I can say that I am now in the middle of a struggle...Read the full post

Gift Giving for World Peace & Equality for All

Okay people, if you are looking for some last minute Christmas gifts, and especially if you are looking for a great read...here is a fantastic list of books from Riane Eisler, PhD, the co-founder of

Center for Partnership Studies. 

Dr. Eisler's books paint a beautiful portrait of peace for our world today. Her organization, CPS, exists to build a culture of gender and racial equity, economic justice, and a sustainable environment.

The Real Wealth of Nations -- hailed by Nobel Peace Laureate Archbishop Desmond Tutu as "a template for the better world we have been so urgently seeking."

The Power of Partnership -- hailed by Christiane Northrup, M.D., as " a brilliantly accessible plan for transforming ourselves and our world."

The Chalice and The Blade -- hailed by Ashley Montagu as "the most important book since Darwin's Origin of Species" and by Isabel Allende as "one of those magnificent key books that can transform us."

Dr. Eisler also recommends books by her partner, the social psychologist David Loye:

3,000 Years of Love: The Life of Riane Eisler and David Loye -- the story of our 30+ years of adventures together.

Darwin's Second Revolution -- the first of David Loye's trilogy, Darwin and the Battle for Human Survival, with nine pages of endorsements by leading scientists.

For the children in your life, I recommend:
The Warmest Place by Licia Rando -- beautifully written and illustrated, conveying the most important message of all: what matters most is love.

For pre-teen girls, a subscription to New Moon magazine -- I have been giving it for years, and the girls (and parents) love it.

For parents, you can download -- for free -- our acclaimed Caring and Connected Parenting Guide (also by Licia Rando)  -- endorsed by Dr. Brazelton, Dr. Siegel, as well as two Nobel peace laureates.

For teachers, here are some more ideas:
The award-winning Tomorrow's Children: A Blueprint for Partnership Education for the 21st Century (the book or DVD).

Holiday Wishes for Happy Reading & Creation of Positive Social & Cultural Change in 2011 and beyond...

Women's Rights: Are You Exercising Yours?

This year marks (only) the 90 year anniversary of women earning a basic human civil right: the right to vote.

As a woman - and as a mother, I have both been an observer and a victim of the discrimination which still exists against women today. Just to scratch the surface: Women still only make $.78 to a man's dollar, and until this past July, there was still no mandatory policy which gave women the right to breastfeed in privacy while at work. Further, America is one of the last industrialized nations to not adopt a maternity policy. Learn more about women's rights in my past blogs:
A Mother's Bill of Rights
Women's Rights: How Far Have We Come?

Because of this existing discrimination, I want to share a message about our 90 year anniversary that has been continually circulated via the internet this year.

I have been unable to locate the document's original owner, but hope that I can one day credit (probably her) for her hard work.

The document is entitled "Only 90 Years Ago They Were Jailed,"and although it is a mere 2 pages - it will, like it did me, rock me to my core and appropriately remind me of how important it is for me, as a woman, to vote.

Photo: A woman is struck down during a suffragette demonstration in 1903.

Workplace Discrimination Against Mothers Must End

Fellow women, whether or not your are mothers - educate yourselves today about workplace discrimination.

Anecdotal evidence continues to grow every day - as tall as the corporate buildings in America where this discrimination is executed.

Your (Wo)Man in Washington invited guest blogger (and mother of 3), Jennifer L.G. Minear, to reflect on her experience with workplace discrimination. Read the full article here.

My response to Jennifer's blog: Well written. And last time I checked - raising children has demanded more skill, thought, patience, perseverance, strength, and fortitude than my former job EVER did. And I have a master's degree from one of the top physical therapy schools in the US.

How do we affect change and put a stop to antiquated and discriminating workplace practices against all parents?

1. Speak up. One person can make a difference, especially if you can collect more voices to speak up for family friendly workplace flexibility. Our country was founded on the family unit, and other countries have acted to preserve it and help it thrive. The US, however, has not. Yet.

Good news though. Read who is speaking up on behalf of mothers. The First Lady, Michelle Obama is now dedicated to creating positive change in the workplace, working to end workplace discrimination against mothers - and all parents. Read more about the movement.

Visit the Official Workplace Flexibility 2010 Website

*photo: I am educating a group of Afghan girls who have just arrived to the US in 2009, about research on including multi-vitamins as part of a healthy lifestyle.

Does America Love Its Children?

This is part two of a conversation on Women and Mother's rights, How Far Have We Come?

Rose Kennedy, mother of 9 children, including President John F. Kennedy said, "I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was as fully interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best I could bring to it."

Mothering is a most honorable profession, more important than sending men to the moon or even leading a country. After all, does not the future of our country rest in the hands of our children? So then, mothers should not (have to) apologize for putting the profession of mothering at the top of their priority list.

It is time to stop lavishing superficial praise on mothers for taking time out of (or canceling entirely) their careers to give birth and raise children. Society has pushed its skewed work ethic onto mothers so heavily - that they end up apologizing for mothering or end up being pushed out of the workplace (or from mothering) entirely.

Case in point - a colleague of mine (to remain unnamed) - recently sent me an email. In it she apologized for not being able to multi-task well enough to keep up with her workload during her pregnancy.

The mother of 1 (with a second on the way) writes, "I am feeling guilty about contacting you without a plethora of attachments filled with work for our project, but I need to let you know that I have been unable to make headway yet. I have to admit that my priorities have shifted more than I expected with this pregnancy ~ being only 6 weeks away from delivery. I just need to accept that this (having to slow down and take care of myself and my unborn baby) is how it is and it is okay. I certainly hope I have not made life more difficult for you. However, I cannot take on the project at this time. I will look forward to it in the future. My focus is on being a mom and keeping my small business running..."

My response to her, "First of all. Relax and enjoy. You did not have to write the email to me. I would absolutely expect nothing different from you right now. You may have to defend your priorities and family dedication to the rest of the world, but not me. Being a fellow mom, business owner, and therapist who holds similar root values - I empathize and understand.
This time in your life you are exactly where you need to be. You are a wonderful, dedicated, intelligent woman and professional. - and when you are ready, I know you will be perfect for the project.
In fact, what you are doing now (mothering) is creating the perfect experience(s) for you to become a master at your professional specialty in the future. Society may not recognize this Truth - but you are becoming an expert in your profession BECAUSE you are a mother, NOT in spite of it.

Is the United States a country which loves its children? Not if the current system remains the way it is.
We must:

• Empower mothers to be mothers, not harass them for becoming mothers. For example, instituting 12 month paid maternity leaves like other countries do - which have higher numbers of (happier) mothers working outside the home, ironically.
• Invest in America's families by creating resources to allow mothers to stay home or work part time with children of preschool age. We cannot and should not force mothers to fit the "man's mold" of business - which means working without breaks for family. It is physically (and otherwise) impossible for women to work their entire lives without taking breaks for family needs - unless that is, American women stop having children.
  
• Excuse all women from jury duty who are pregnant, nursing, or who are stay at home care-givers with children under school age or home bound elderly parents to care for.
  
• Praise and value the Mothering Resume, or "time taken off to rear children" instead of keeping women out of the corporate office because of "lack of experience from mommy gaps" on the resume.
• Enable those mothers who choose or must work outside the home with options for quality, affordable early childhood education resources.

Society needs to put its money where its mouth is.

• Stop giving "lip service" to women about their great role to humanity as mothers - and start supporting and enabling them to actually do the job.
• Kill double standards. Women are expected to put off and cancel careers in order to birth and raise children, while men are never asked or expected to let their careers slow down at all. Men are praised for having a family and a career (& for making it to the occasional PTA meeting or sports event) while women are berated for trying to have both (& if they are not there for every event and meeting). Women are encouraged to get an education and establish a career, but are frowned upon by others (and other mothers) when they put their children in daycare in order to keep their job.

Our society has become a "2 income culture", forcing women back to work and displacing our children into the hands of daycare workers - who are under-paid and under-appreciated. As a result, staff turnover can be high and workers with degrees in early childhood education can be difficult to find and keep.

• We need to encourage young people to go into early childhood education - but who will pursue this honorable work if it pays nothing and is not respected?
• Start paying early childhood education specialists/preschool teachers what they are worth.
• Invest smartly in the future of our country by offering compassion and understanding. Offer options (and support) for mothers to be 'stay at home moms' or 'work from home moms.' Telecommuting is eco-friendly, business friendly, and parenting friendly - and it works.
  
• Enlist the "village" to help raise their children. Mothers cannot do it alone. Other countries offer year long maternity leave, and options to return to work at 50%, 75%, and full time, for example. They provide preschool and daycare options, and also give dads an opportunity to take part in the year long "paternal" leave as well.
• We must reduce and prevent poverty of mothers in America. If you are a mother and you stay home with your children, statistically you are MOST likely to live at poverty levels during retirement years. Why? Because the government does not recognize your years of sacrificial service as having monetary value. In other words, for all the years you stay home with children, your social security statement reads "zero" or no work done. You get no retirement, no support, and no thanks from the US government for having raised the Next Responsible Generation. Asking mothers to continually work for free must change.

Love and sacrifice is not lacking. Don't get me wrong. I am not suggesting that parenting or mothering is not rewarding or wonderful or that mothers should get "paid" to be parents. As mothers, we love our children. Through all of time and history women have made the sacrifice to put everyone first - children, husbands, families, even communities. We do it out of love.

The real Truth, and where the problem lies is - society has long taken advantage of a Mother's Love. It is time for American society and government to love our children enough - to create equitable rights for mothers.

Rose Kennedy was right - mothering is the most honorable profession, as honorable as any other. Mothering is the ultimate service we are able to render to God and country. Let all mothers stop apologizing for working in this most honorable profession - and start demanding the resources and remuneration to do the job well.

*my oldest son, with a flower he picked for me

Does America Love Its Children?

This is part two of a conversation on Women and Mother's rights, How Far Have We Come?

Rose Kennedy, mother of 9 children, including President John F. Kennedy said, "I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was as fully interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best I could bring to it."

Mothering is a most honorable profession, more important than sending men to the moon or even leading a country. After all, does not the future of our country rest in the hands of our children? So then, mothers should not (have to) apologize for putting the profession of mothering at the top of their priority list.

It is time to stop lavishing superficial praise on mothers for taking time out of (or canceling entirely) their careers to give birth and raise children. Society has pushed its skewed work ethic onto mothers so heavily - that they end up apologizing for mothering or end up being pushed out of the workplace (or from mothering) entirely.

Case in point - a colleague of mine (to remain unnamed) - recently sent me an email. In it she apologized for not being able to multi-task well enough to keep up with her workload during her pregnancy.

The mother of 1 (with a second on the way) writes, "I am feeling guilty about contacting you without a plethora of attachments filled with work for our project, but I need to let you know that I have been unable to make headway yet. I have to admit that my priorities have shifted more than I expected with this pregnancy ~ being only 6 weeks away from delivery. I just need to accept that this (having to slow down and take care of myself and my unborn baby) is how it is and it is okay. I certainly hope I have not made life more difficult for you. However, I cannot take on the project at this time. I will look forward to it in the future. My focus is on being a mom and keeping my small business running..."

My response to her, "First of all. Relax and enjoy. You did not have to write the email to me. I would absolutely expect nothing different from you right now. You may have to defend your priorities and family dedication to the rest of the world, but not me. Being a fellow mom, business owner, and therapist who holds similar root values - I empathize and understand.
This time in your life you are exactly where you need to be. You are a wonderful, dedicated, intelligent woman and professional. - and when you are ready, I know you will be perfect for the project.
In fact, what you are doing now (mothering) is creating the perfect experience(s) for you to become a master at your professional specialty in the future. Society may not recognize this Truth - but you are becoming an expert in your profession BECAUSE you are a mother, NOT in spite of it.

Is the United States a country which loves its children? Not if the current system remains the way it is.
We must:

• Empower mothers to be mothers, not harass them for becoming mothers. For example, instituting 12 month paid maternity leaves like other countries do - which have higher numbers of (happier) mothers working outside the home, ironically.
• Invest in America's families by creating resources to allow mothers to stay home or work part time with children of preschool age. We cannot and should not force mothers to fit the "man's mold" of business - which means working without breaks for family. It is physically (and otherwise) impossible for women to work their entire lives without taking breaks for family needs - unless that is, American women stop having children.
  
• Excuse all women from jury duty who are pregnant, nursing, or who are stay at home care-givers with children under school age or home bound elderly parents to care for.
  
• Praise and value the Mothering Resume, or "time taken off to rear children" instead of keeping women out of the corporate office because of "lack of experience from mommy gaps" on the resume.
• Enable those mothers who choose or must work outside the home with options for quality, affordable early childhood education resources.

Society needs to put its money where its mouth is.

• Stop giving "lip service" to women about their great role to humanity as mothers - and start supporting and enabling them to actually do the job.
• Kill double standards. Women are expected to put off and cancel careers in order to birth and raise children, while men are never asked or expected to let their careers slow down at all. Men are praised for having a family and a career (& for making it to the occasional PTA meeting or sports event) while women are berated for trying to have both (& if they are not there for every event and meeting). Women are encouraged to get an education and establish a career, but are frowned upon by others (and other mothers) when they put their children in daycare in order to keep their job.

Our society has become a "2 income culture", forcing women back to work and displacing our children into the hands of daycare workers - who are under-paid and under-appreciated. As a result, staff turnover can be high and workers with degrees in early childhood education can be difficult to find and keep.

• We need to encourage young people to go into early childhood education - but who will pursue this honorable work if it pays nothing and is not respected?
• Start paying early childhood education specialists/preschool teachers what they are worth.
• Invest smartly in the future of our country by offering compassion and understanding. Offer options (and support) for mothers to be 'stay at home moms' or 'work from home moms.' Telecommuting is eco-friendly, business friendly, and parenting friendly - and it works.
  
• Enlist the "village" to help raise their children. Mothers cannot do it alone. Other countries offer year long maternity leave, and options to return to work at 50%, 75%, and full time, for example. They provide preschool and daycare options, and also give dads an opportunity to take part in the year long "paternal" leave as well.
• We must reduce and prevent poverty of mothers in America. If you are a mother and you stay home with your children, statistically you are MOST likely to live at poverty levels during retirement years. Why? Because the government does not recognize your years of sacrificial service as having monetary value. In other words, for all the years you stay home with children, your social security statement reads "zero" or no work done. You get no retirement, no support, and no thanks from the US government for having raised the Next Responsible Generation. Asking mothers to continually work for free must change.

Love and sacrifice is not lacking. Don't get me wrong. I am not suggesting that parenting or mothering is not rewarding or wonderful or that mothers should get "paid" to be parents. As mothers, we love our children. Through all of time and history women have made the sacrifice to put everyone first - children, husbands, families, even communities. We do it out of love.

The real Truth, and where the problem lies is - society has long taken advantage of a Mother's Love. It is time for American society and government to love our children enough - to create equitable rights for mothers.

Rose Kennedy was right - mothering is the most honorable profession, as honorable as any other. Mothering is the ultimate service we are able to render to God and country. Let all mothers stop apologizing for working in this most honorable profession - and start demanding the resources and remuneration to do the job well.

*my oldest son, with a flower he picked for me

Women's Rights - How Far Have We Come?

Little more than 150 years ago, women could not own property and had no parental rights. 30 years later most women still had no right to earn wages or own property.

The presidential election of 1920, shortly after the narrow passage of the 19th Amendment, was the first time American women were allowed to vote.

Fast forward to 1961 where the Commission on the Status of Women, initiated by President Kennedy, found severe discrimination against women at work. These findings led to early recommendations on fair hiring practices, paid maternity leave, and the Equal Pay Act. However, discrimination continued. For example, women were not allowed to establish credit without their husband's permission until the 1970's.

Until Title IX in 1972, girls and women were essentially shut out from participation & competition in sports. And shockingly, a husband could still legally rape his wife until 1976, when Nebraska took the first state action which banned it.

Now today, in the 21st century, women still face discrimination. Women do not earn dollar for dollar what men earn in the same position. Discrimination worsens when you compare salaries of women with children to those of men (with or without children). Sure, feminists claim that women get "equal pay" now, but they fail to mention it is ONLY when the women are between ages of 27 and 33 and have NEVER had children. (O'Neill)

If you compare the real difference between the pay of women and men, considering every one's earnings, women earned 59% of men's salaries in 1999 (US Census 2000, Crittenden). This inequality has been called the "mommy tax" by Crittenden and the "family wage gap" by Columbia economist Waldfogel. Undeniably, it is mothers and their children, ironically the poorest segment of the population worldwide, who are suffering the most from this discrimination.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

The fact is - society has long lauded the value of motherhood, but has done little to ensure that this very important segment of its population - mother and children - are supported. Instead, our culture financially punishes women when they choose to stay home and mother America's children and yes, America's future. They exclude mothers' work from the gross domestic product (GDP), deny them social security credits, tax their income based on their husband's salary, and pass over women with "mommy gaps" on their resume.

This punitive action that American society and government shamelessly inflicts upon its mothers (yes, we are all responsible for heaping this harm upon our mothers) does 1 of 2 things.

1. It forces mothers back to work prematurely, leaving children to fend for themselves or be raised by someone else.
2. It forces mothers to become financially dependent on their spouses or flimsy government handouts.

Author Crittenden writes, "the UN recommended in the early 1990's that member countries' include in their GDP "unrenumerated work" of two unpaid tasks that women perform in the developing world: gathering firewood and carting water." Yet in 2010, where the GDP was first used, America has done little about the UN recommendation to recognize womens' unpaid work.

How far have we come?

Women have historically been asked to give of their time freely and sacrificially - for their families and for society. Women have historically complied by providing the majority of free work through child rearing, house management, and care-taking of the elderly. Women quit their careers and dreams - in order to take on these unpaid jobs.

When asked to put a monetary value on caring for other human beings - American society speaks loud and clear. Childcare workers, early childhood education professionals, and professional caretakers in nursing homes are generally paid minimum wage or just above. Yet, they are raising up those that will care-take us later - and perpetuate the human race. They are also caring for those who raised us. We should assign a high level of respect to all care-takers and to those in their charge.

But this is not happening. The elderly in America are frequently neglected, discarded as dinosaurs with feeble minds that are not useful in the "workforce" after they retire. Childcare centers and nursing homes have high turnover rates. Many educators and professional care-takers abandon their career and their passion for it after experiencing low paying jobs that carry little respect or value in society. Mothers are unable to pursue their dream of having a career and family, and our children get lost in the struggle. Mothers are frowned upon when they try to have both a career and a family. Men, however, are praised for having both.

Mothers in other countries, such as France and Denmark, are paid for their work, have stipends for childcare support, and government subsidized daycare, preschool, and community centers. They have year long paid maternity leaves for mothers and fathers.

In addition, other countries assign value to care-taking in their GDP - and mothers receive monetary support and/or units toward retirement/social security when they stay home with children. But not in the US.

Will (not) work for free
Society still expects women to cheerfully and freely give their time raising up the next generation (who will, by the way, pay every one's social security). However, society does not want to give them any tools or means to complete the job. Society accepts womens' "free" work while men are well paid for their work. Women are essentially denigrated when they take time off to care for anyone - children or elderly. Why?

Is Motherhood worthless?
Society assigns no worth to motherhood or the tasks that are required to do it well. Men are generally seen as "experts" over women on just about any topic - even child birth. Society punishes women who take time to be mothers by not hiring them or paying them less because of "gaps" in their resume. This leads to men holding the majority of CEO and authoritative positions in business and government.

The government literally considers the task of mothering worthless - as is evidenced by the "zeros" on the social security statement of any woman for the years she stayed at home as a mother to raise children. If society and government did see mothering and care-taking as the incredibly valuable (difficult, stressful, challenging) work that it is, then we would see more women as CEO's than we do in this country. After all, it is like Ann Crittenden writes, "If you have raised children, you can manage anything."

What can you do?
Increase awareness. Speak. Act.

1. Read. Learn about your rights as a mother and woman. Learn what other countries do to support mothers and children and prevent poverty for the future of our planet.
2. Speak. Ask questions. Challenge the status quo. Why are mothers being "punished" for "gaps" on their resume, when they are not gaps at all. I would dare to argue that women who have managed a household and children, and usually part or full time jobs to boot - would be incredibly qualified to hold a position of CEO in a corporation.
3. Act. We can get involved with our government at all levels. We can help other women in need. If you want to get involved with my activism for women and children in Afghanistan and Haiti, please contact me or visit www.gingergarner.com. Another great resource is National Association of Mothers' Centers In addition, you can join this blog, in the top right hand column of this page.
   
4. Stop apologizing for being a mother. Do not apologize for being either a stay at home mom or a mom who works outside the home. The Truth is - in either case, society has not and is not doing enough to enable American women to thrive after they have children. Instead of judging worth by whether a mother stays at home or works outside the home - let's join together to facilitate positive change for all mothers.
   

Are you a mother reading this blog? Have you ever felt isolated, like you have lost your independence, your income, your career, and the social support of your former peers? You are not alone. Read this quote, submitted by an anonymous woman to a magazine.

"By joint efforts my husband and I have made a home. I have borne and raised 9 children and grandchildren but cannot claim a dollar for all of my labor. I have no more power than a child. If my labor has been of any value in dollars and cents then I want those dollars and cents to do as I please with. I feel like advising every women not to do another day's labor unless she can be the owner of the value of it. All the property that I possess in my own right is in this pen and holder." (Crittenden)

The inequalities she speaks of still persist today - and this letter was penned in 1876.

So, how far have we come?

Stay tuned to read more about current trends in women's rights on my next blog this week.
To learn more about the "price of motherhood", read Pulitzer Prize nominee Ann Crittenden's book of the same name, The Price of Motherhood or If You've Raised Kids, You Can Manage Anything.

We Cannot Wait For Peace

"If you want world peace,
go home and love your family."
~Mother Teresa

Today, the Washington Post has announced 8 more troops were killed in southern Afghanistan this morning. Some one's son or daughter has been lost forever to war, in the name of freedom. Laying down one's life for another is the ultimate sacrifice.

We cannot stop war by simply shouting "peace!" We have to do something. Just as each of the 8 troops gave their lives today - an individual can make a difference. Their deaths were not in vain. Those who would argue differently, try saying that to the parents of those who gave their life. Our thoughts and prayers should all go out to those parents and families, with words of comfort and support.

We can "be the change."
There is widespread violence against women throughout Afghanistan and other countries across the globe. Nurture peace by helping women who are standing in the crossfire of war and are many times over the victims of horrific crimes in the name of "war."

Ways to "be the change."
On September 21, the Peace X Peace (pronounced Peace By Peace) non profit organization launched a campaign. Here is what they pleaded for:


"Women around the world have been patient long enough. We have been nice and polite long enough. We need to start getting in the way, whenever and wherever violence rears its head. Each of us is stronger than we think, and together we are strong enough to do anything - even end this bad human habit of war. It starts with me and you, together, today. I have made up my mind and planted my feet, and I WON'T wait for peace."

1. A simple act of solidarity for all women. Acting in peace for women everywhere by joining Peace X Peace today. It is free, only takes a minute, and is a way to stay connected with other women who are advocates for peace in our time.
2. Follow Mother Teresa's advice. Let's all make sure we go home and love our family today. If the whole world did that, could war be an option?
   

Support Women's Rights

Below is a poem, newly penned by a young Afghan woman* and dear friend of mine. Her life and the life of her family is in constant danger because of her gender, nationality, and her family's support of her education. Yet this brave young woman fights fearlessly for the liberation of all fellow Afghan women.

As U2's Bono sings, "where you live should not determine whether your live or die." Please compassionately read her poem and support the fight for women's rights!

The Gradual Death of Vulnerable Afghan Women

The rights of women are high in the world, it is said,
but this privilege is mere words.
Women do not possess their own rights,
be it in the past or present, it is apparent.
To restore women's rights, they all talk,
but except to win status, they take no actions.

O Afghan woman, strive to win your own rights!
Seek knowledge and be aware of your rights.
If you do not win your rights, who will give them to you?
How long will you be vulnerable? Fight for your rights!
A gradual death has given you this day.
If you want to be rescued, then be a fighter and fear nothing.
The defender of the deprived Afghan women and their rights.
We share the pain of the women of the world.


*For safety, the author's name is not published.

Afghan Women getting a Fighting Chance

Last week I was able to go and speak with The Initiative to Educate Afghan Women (IEAW) 2009-10 class of incoming freshmen. If you have not been reading my blog, or have not heard of IEAW, then you are in for Great News.
Since Breathing In This Life is for me, a kind of good news network - in addition to a platform for positive change in our world, this Great News is something special to share in light of the continuing plight of Afghan women in the recent news. IEAW is an organization dedicated to do just what it says, bring young women from Afghanistan to the US to provide them with an education wherein they can then return to their country and be advocates for change.

How am I involved you say?
As a health care provider my concern is health care. The young women may be getting an education, but they need to be in good health in order to complete that education. Conditions in Afghanistan are widely variable, and most citizens, much less women, have access to any health care - much less fresh food. This situation can wreak havoc on a young woman's body and mind., leaving short and long term damage to her health. My activist work for IEAW is simple - to have every young woman that arrives in the US to complete her University education supplied with multi-vitamins formulated for women - year round for the four years of her study. What I may be able to do to enact change after that - is part of a Greater Plan which is also part of my vision.

The Afghan young women just arrived in the United States a few short weeks ago, and in the next few weeks they will begin their first year at University. In case you live in a hole, Afghan women have been denied the right to education, among many other injustices. So for a young girl to not only leave her family, but to come here to the United States to receive a fully funded education (through private donors of IEAW) via scholarship, and to earn a Bachelor's degree - is a feat that will, one woman at a time, change the future of Afghanistan in an infinitely positive way.

So last week, I was able to speak to the young women about the many benefits of taking a multi-vitamin, especially for women. I consider the alliance formed with New Chapter one of the many beginnings which will give Afghan women, especially these young girls studying in the United States, a fighting chance as they proudly return to their homeland of Afghanistan during each summer break and terminally at the end of their 4 year education.

More Good News to come....

Women! Own Your Tough Mind & Tender Heart

Just this past week Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, in her 7 country trip to Africa, has made statements which suggest she will make women's rights one of her signature platforms. I am joyous about this move, as women all over the globe, and right here in America, suffer horrendously and unjustly. Click here for the full story: www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=4105

In an excerpt from Martin Luther King's book, "Strength To Love", published in 1963, he wrote:

"A French philosopher once said, No man is strong unless he bears within his character antitheses strongly marked." the strong man or woman holds in a living blend strongly marked opposites. The idealists are usually not realistic, and the realistic are usually not idealistic... Seldom are the humble self-assertive, or the self-assertive humble. But life at its best is a creative synthesis of opposites in fruitful harmony. The philosopher Hegel said that truth is found neither in the thesis nor the antithesis, but in an emergent synthesis which reconciles the two. He goes on to say that Jesus often spoke of needing to be as wise as a serpent but as gentle as a dove."

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a woman and a leader of our country, could be said to exemplify having a "tough mind and a tender heart", especially as she brings much needed attention to the horrible conditions, violence, and wrongs perpetrated against women in the Congo, for example. She has stood her ground, risen to one of the highest leadership positions in our country, and is not forgetting that fellow women desperately need help, education, adequate health care, and most importantly, a voice.

Women are often berated for being "tough", as Hillary as been along her journey upward, yet men are exemplified for doing so. I believe women are ideally suited for high positions of leadership BECAUSE and not in spite of the fact that they are women, BECAUSE and not in spite of their backgrounds in multiple areas, including their trained profession, childbearing and rearing, and management of the home. Our unique backgrounds should not be a hindrance in rising to positions of importance in the business and political world, they should be a benefit. Women possess a unique ability to own a "tough mind and a tender heart", even more so than men.

Martin Luther King, Jr. used the word "softminded" as an opposite of the "tough minded" person, and describes that person as someone who "thinks", does not fear change, and is not swayed by "superstition, traditionalism, and the media." He says a "tender heart" is also necessary, because without it, a person comes to be a "cold, detached, crass utilitarian" who views people as "cogs in a perpetual turning wheel."

Women across the globe are joining together now, in what King called "nonviolent resistance", on their quest for freedom. King calls "nonviolent resistance" the ultimate combining of "toughmindedness and tenderheartedness" which will work to oppose injustice and at the same time "love the perpetrators of the system."

To support organizations who support and report about women's freedom, rights, and health, visit the following links:

The Initiative to Educate Afghan Women
Womens News
Mothers Center
Peace X Peace

Women can join arms, and act to claim their own freedom with King's "nonviolent resistance", which he used with success in his "walk for freedom" in Montgomery, Alabama, which resulted in desegregation of buses. Women everywhere must do this, to stand up against any and all injustice which is being perpetuated against women in our world today.

*image is a yoga session for young Afghan women I taught in December 2008; these women had suffered immensely under the Taliban rule, and for many of them, this was their first introduction to yoga. Many of the young ladies did not want to be photographed for security fears, so our photo was taken of only a few of the women. the founder of IEAW (see above link), Paula Nirschel, is also included in the front row of this photograph

A voice from the frontline

*photograph & identity of the young woman has been removed from site for her safety

Everyone, please meet a dear friend and courageous young woman from Afghanistan. I am proudly publishing a poem she has written, a true testament to the many brave and strong women of Afghanistan, in her honor and with her gracious permission. Her message is loud and clear, to all women who have been or are oppressed.

She* writes,

Sister, Don't Be Discouraged
(Afghanistan)
April 6th, 2009

Afghan woman, don’t be discouraged, desperate. You are a champion
Even though they have kept you far from knowledge
Be a fighter, try to seek knowledge
So that you may be wise, knowing good from bad and friends from enemies
Life is worthless if there is no knowledge and skills
In reality all living beings are meant to learn
Even the Islamic faith has obligated learning for men and women
So that no one is left without knowledge of the world

Afghan maiden! Why be deprived of literacy? And why be hopeless your whole life?
You are no less in skills and intelligence than others
Learn from Malalais who are your kind
Their names shine eternally like the name of our country and land shines
Be determined, fear no difficulty, find your path!While the destination is far, you will reach the caravan
In the chosen path if you fall a hundred times, stand up again
Hopelessness and defeat are not the traits of a champion
(I) am your companion in this battle
Dusk is not eternal, dawn draws nearer

It means that time is passing, and after the end of each darkness there is light.
Do not give up trying. At the end you will be more knowledgeable and reach your purpose.

To see the poem in Arabic, go to http://www.24sahat.com/content/view/410/21/.

My hope is that we as Americans, would be involved with helping, not hurting; building up, not tearing down; loving, not fighting. We can make a difference, each as one, just like this strong woman with a voice in Afghanistan.

Reach out and make a difference. Volunteer for an organization you believe in. Support humanitarian and mission efforts to enable and empower those in need to care for themselves and their children. Don't let another day pass without making a difference in this world.

One action can be heard for eternity. The time to act is now.

Consider volunteering time or giving donations to these organizations that I support:

www.ieaw.org - The Initiative to Educate Afghan Women
www.nrdc.org - National Resources Defense Council
www.heifer.org - Heifer International
www.savethechildren.org - Save The Children
Haiti Initiative Mission & Stop Hunger Now - Local effort to provide self sustaining means of living to Haitians through clean water projects, solar ovens, newborn and child aid, medical missions, and school revitalization and support

Thinking globally and acting locally WORKS!

PROJECT SUPPORT AFGHAN WOMEN'S HEALTH

Recently, I started a campaign called "PROJECT SUPPORT AFGHAN WOMEN'S HEALTH", for The Initiative to Educate Afghan Women. A volunteer for IEAW, it came to my attention that the girls at IEAW were suffering from nutritional and vitamin deficiencies. I decided to act.

I set out to stamp out this problem through no small task. I was going to raise enough money, with a small, local effort, to try and effect global change, ultimately for the country of Afghanistan. I decided to start with trying to secure enough funds to provide vitamins for these girls through the summer. My next goal was to raise enough funds to purchase, package, and ship an annual supply of multivitamins (organic, whole food, probiotic vitamins) to each girl.

I got several hundred dollars into fundraising, when I decided to send out a proposal to one of the country's largest organic vitamin manufacturers, New Chapter. Less than 2 weeks later, New Chapter answered my plea!

New Chapter has donated over $11,000 in multivitamins to the Afghan girls of IEAW for the 2009-10 school year. My small, local effort has now gleaned national attention, for which I am deeply grateful and humbled. Now each of the 46 Afghan girls attending school because of IEAW will be able to better focus on their studies!

So people - get out there and ACT! Thinking globally and acting locally DOES WORK!
Learn more at www.ieaw.org