Living Wide Awake in 2011

Introspection
(Our Family Christmas Vacation 2010)

Reflection. You see your own in the mirror day in, day out.

But who do see?  The person you were, the person you are, or the person you want to become?

Self-reflection is recognized as a universal requirement for learning.  Maxine Greene PhD, who entered the field of education in 1938 and established herself early on at Columbia University as the "lone female voice" in a male dominated philosophy of education, has this to say about reflection:

"...you can be submerged in the crowd, and if you're submerged in the crowd and have no opportunity to think for yourself, to look through your own eyes, life is dull and flat and boring," she says. "The only way to really awaken to life, awaken to the possibilities, is to be self-aware."

Greene likens reflection to "wide-awakeness." "Without the ability to think about yourself, to reflect on your life, there's really no awareness, no consciousness. Consciousness doesn't come automatically; it comes through being alive, awake, curious, and often furious."

Living "Wide-Awake"

My self reflection practice has revealed to me, through the years, these two truths. Though simple, they have had a profound effect on ordering my life for greatest growth and success.

1. Write in pencil.  As I order my days and set goals for myself, I now only write in pencil. Whether on my family or google calendar I can swiftly erase or delete whatever no longer serves me or my family's best interests.  Putting away the ink pen has freed me to invite new experiences into my life.  I am more flexible as a parent and professional and realize I can flow with life's changes gracefully. Wielding a pencil instead of a pen has allowed me to let go so I can grow.
   
   Time has a way of showing us all - that we are not in control.  Sooner or later, we have to learn that flexibility, not rigidity, serves us best. My wake up call was my 2 year old son's emergency heart surgery. With his diagnosis and the surgeon's curt announcement, "your son will need cardiothoracic surgery within the month..."  suddenly my packed work schedule and all the responsibilities that I had tied to it - paled and fell away.  I found myself waiting outside the pediatric neo-natal intensive care unit - pacing and praying for my son's life. 
   
   That experience demanded that I write in pencil. Now I don't wait for the proverbial shoe to drop before self-reflecting. I do it every time I plan an event in my calendar.
   
   
2. Omit possessive vocabulary.  I began this practice more than a decade ago, during a humanitarian trip to Alaska to help a community of Native Americans. That trip showed my that nothing I have is mine. It is only gifted to me while I am here on earth. Being Native American myself, I was reminded by this beautiful family of Alaskan Indians that the "my" we use so often - doesn't really exist.
   
   That year I stopped using the word "my."  "My" belongings or "my business" or  "my skills" were no longer mine. They belonged to a greater good that had nothing to do with me but everything to do with how I used what was entrusted to me and what lasting effect is has in this world.  This small practice also helped me more earnestly apply the yogic principle of non-attachment.  Situations in life were no longer mine, and as a result, I was able to look at them through a more objective, level-headed, and less emotionally possessive lens.
   
   As a result, relationships I had with others also improved.  Annoying habits or hurtful behaviors from others were just that - only habits or behaviors - but they did not own the person.  As a result, I was able to detach the bad experience from the person, which left me free to forgive and open myself up to healing and growth in the relationship.

Resources
Here are a few blogs from BITL and other bloggers which can help you on the path toward growth and wisdom in 2011.

Self-Reflection: How To Do It Right
Freedom To Live Your Life: But Are You?
Midwife For Your Life
Is Your Life in Perspective?
The Person Next To You Is
Self Reflection for Entrepreneurs
Self Reflect Instead of Self Neglect

The Thanks Game

A few blogs back I wrote about sending a note of encouragement to 5 people you care about.

Consider this blog a note of encouragement to all of you, my readers...thank you for breathing in this life with me!

I have a quick and easy way you can now go on to encourage and build up others this Thanksgiving. It's called the "Thanks Game." (don't worry it's not that kind of game. I don't like games either.)

Setting up the "Thanks Game"

1. Set the dinner table. Each person needs a place setting even if you have to use your kitchen counter top, a card table, a random ottoman, and a discarded coffee table.
2. Compile the list of guests who will attend Thanksgiving dinner.
3. On individual slips of paper or small cards, write one name on each slip of paper until every person has a card with their name on it.
4. Place the card under each place setting. Don't look at the names if you can help it (no cheating!).

Playing the "Thanks Game"

1. When everyone has taken their place at the table, tell them to look under their dinner plate and find a person's name on the card. It's very important that they NOT LET ANYONE ELSE SEE THEIR CARD! Do not share the identity on the card with anyone else.
   
2. During dinner, they are to think of 3 things they appreciate or are thankful for about the person on their card. (Okay, if 3 is too hard or you have a gazillion guests, then just have them think of 1 thing.)
3. At a time you designate as special, maybe at the close of the meal or during dessert or coffee time, everyone gets to share the 3 ways they are thankful for the person on their card. (hint: you may want to set out an extra box of tissues)

The years I have played the "Thanks Game" on Thanksgiving have by far been the most memorable and dearest to my heart. Try it, you just may find yourself (more than pleasantly) surprised, not to mention encouraged and loved.

*photo taken with my firstborn during autumn of 2006 on a family hike at Grandfather Mountain, NC.

Get Glad! (it only takes 4 steps)

In order to be transformed, I must know what I believe.

Last spring I jotted this thought down on the inside cover of my well worn notepad. I carry it in my bag or briefcase wherever I go. I replace my small notepad every January. All during the year, it is my "Get Glad Notepad" (GGN).

My "GGN" is not my calendar or a personal journal or a to-do list (or Blackberry), although sometimes I do jot down that I need to pick up milk at the grocery in it. For me, it is where I write down what I believe.

I don't want to suggest that you stop using your blackberry to log & order your life; however, I want to encourage a limited return to old fashioned hand writing. There is therapeutic value & transformative power in hand writing. Hand writing is a slow process. It fosters meditative silence. It requires deliberate thought. It nurtures self reflection.

Here's how you can Get Glad today (in only 4 short steps):

Go out to your nearest drugstore and buy a small, ring bound, notepad. They are sold with the school supplies. Pick a color that reflects peace and joy for you.

In your "GGN":

1. Document every day joys. Every time you hear something inspirational or your child or family member does something you want to remember in detail, scribble it down. My last entry was on November 1, 2009 - my 3 year old son looked at his younger brother and spontaneously and for the first time said, "I yuv you Wiyum." (translated means "I love you William.") I return to these handwritten entries often, and periodically consolidate them onto our "family calendar", where I (yes, hand write) all our family memories. If the note is longer, I put it in a memory/keepsake box I have for each child.
   
2. Start a Gratitude Journal. We tend to get mired down in "cup half empty" platitudes and latitudes. Every so often, make it weekly (or if you need it - daily!) make a list of 5 ways your cup is "half full." Either tear it out of your pad and post it where you'll see it daily OR keep it in your notepad and carry it around in your briefcase or handbag. Either way, revisit your list when you find your "cup is half empty."
3. Manifest your Blessings & Prayers

• Jot down your needs, hopes, prayers, or dreams.
  
• Date them.
  
• Revisit your list often.
• When your need or prayer has been met, date it.
• Revisit your list again, to be reminded of answered blessings and prayers.
  
• Re-evaluate your "needs" (are they needs or wants?) often, so they match your priorities.

Separate from your "GGN", add the 4th step:

4. Send a note of encouragement to 5 people. Get out a pen, some paper, envelopes, and yes, buy some stamps. Through the power of the hand written word, lift up someone you care about or know that may be struggling. i.e. I have saved every hand written note my
grandmothers ever penned to me. Seeing their handwriting and words of encouragement bring me immeasurable comfort and encouragement.

Start today. Write down what you believe is True. Only then, can we be transformed.

Stop Stress In Its Tracks, Day 3

Okay ladies, here are my last "real time" stress busters (for this week anyway).

1. Stress scenario: There is not enough time in the day to get everything done.
2. Solution: This is a tough one, but we must tackle it.

Identify time wasters:

• Cut out TV. Completely. Even get rid of your TV. We did in 2004. We only recently got a small one so our kids can watch their DVD's. Public television is the only channel my children watch now. My husband and I only watch State of the Union addresses, or in the case of an election year, we watch the political debates. Instead of wasting our time with TV, if we want to watch something important, we will order it via our Netflix account. In addition, there is no TV during any family time, such as dinners, and no more than 2 PBS shows or 1 movie (i.e. the time it takes to watch a movie) a day.
  
• Cut back on Internet. We connect to the world via the Internet, so we get what we need and not what we don't (ads, silly pop culture, violence on the evening news, etc.). I use the Internet for reading news, work, shopping, and some social and professional media (once/week usually). However we can still have the tendency to surf the net too much. Now we observe the following: No Internet or computers during the dinner hour, between 5-8 pm. No Internet during any family time. This means no texting, no cell phones, no TV, no outside interruption. Same goes for email. As I mentioned previously, try to only check your email two times a day. Hovering over your email all day is not productive.
  
• Get rid of your land line & then don't answer your cell phone. I stand by my Grandfather Garner's philosophy. "Say what you need to say, and get off the phone." Yes, even as a teenager, I stood firm on this philosophy. If you do not need a land line, then get rid of it. It will also save you some money each month. I only use my cell phone when I absolutely must. My whole family knows I do not like to use the phone. Now my cell phone rings only when the caller has something important to say.
• Don't buy tabloids or fluff magazines. Yes, I have been known to read a copy of House Beautiful as intensely as I teach a yoga class. However, our society should know better than to fuel pop culture demand for gossip magazines. You know, the ones that discuss celebrity's private lives and make us feel either good or bad about our self image. It's easy. Just don't do it. Put that money you would spend into your children's' stock portfolios.
• Don't overdo a task. This is similar to talking on the phone. Only do it if you must. Think about what you are going to do before you are going to do it. For example, making a grocery list. I have this nifty list that divides whole foods into categories, so you can check a box and then go straight to that section in the store. No time wasted and no impulse buys.
  
• Get rid of the clutter. This applies at several levels.
  

1. Don't bring junk mail into the house. Stand at your recycling bin and toss it as soon as you take it out of the mailbox. We all know physical clutter, this includes extra body weight, can create mental clutter. Better yet, take action to reduce or eliminate receipt of junk mail altogether.
   
2. Get rid of one item for each new item you purchase. This especially applies to clothing and furnishings. Stop consumerism.
3. Don't have a junk drawer. I don't. Every drawer in my house has a purpose. There is no need to waste a drawer, or any storage space, to hold junk. Either the junk can be re purposed, given away to someone who won't consider it junk, recycled, or trashed.
   

• Make things hover. I know this one is strange, but it is my favorite. My husband can vouch for that. Carefully plan your rooms. The more things you have sitting on the floor, the more cluttered (and less usable) a room feels. For anything that remains in one spot more than a week, you need a designated place and storage method for it. Mail, laundry (dirty and clean and the stuff that is in the "holding" area to be put away, ironed, or taken to the cleaners), reusable grocery totes, hats, shoes, wine. I try to create proper storage so things can "hover" - that way, I can whisk around the room and tidy up in a flash. Shockingly, I have no problem with my family, including my husband, leaving things all over the house. If you create a practical, user friendly method for organization, then it will be easier for your family to use that that to leave it on the floor. Trust me. Making things hover really works.
  

1. Stress: Immediate overload. You need help now!
2. Solution:

• 10 minutes of Yoga. I used to practice for 90 minutes a day on average. Now, I actually practice for no more than 30 minutes 4-6 times a week, and am in better shape. (yes, I know. less is more.) Some days though, especially when my children were infants, I only got 10 minutes. It still got my pre-baby body back, and I had instant stress relief. Follow me on You Tube to get fit.
  
• Time away from kids, or your job, etc. This can be anywhere from 10 minutes to 10 days! I know it is obvious, but as women, we never have time away. Take it today. Recharge.
  
• Pray. Return to your spiritual roots. Faith and hope are our greatest weapons against burnout and stress. Believe. Meditate. Begin your day with hope. You can do it anywhere.
  
• Volunteer. The surest way to help yourself is to help others. I observe my boundaries (see day 1 and 2 blog), but because I have identified and eliminated time wasters, I still have time to give. And, I am teaching my children a valuable lesson about helping those in need.
  
• Focus on relationship building. We are not created to be independent, solitary, isolated creatures. Human beings were created for relationship. Cultivate them.
• Count your blessings. Recognize milestones. Look at what you have accomplished, rather than what you have not. You are amazing!

3. Overall Benefits: More time for You. More time for Others. A Greater Appreciation for the human race. A second (or third) chance to Live and Love Life. A great way to Live in Gratitude.

Now I am going to settle into my own stress relief mode. Starting today, I am unplugging from technology for 1 whole week.
Yes, I am practicing what I preach.
"See" you in 1 week.

Stop Stress In Its Tracks

Sometimes it creeps up on you, sometimes it crashes into you, sometimes it consumes you, but frequently it seems, stress seems to be just around the next corner. My day is going smoothly, and then something ALWAYS happens to interrupt my "zen" flow.

Reality! You wake up late or you wake up too early. You forget your cell phone or you accidentally wash (and dry!) your cell phone (me with pregnant brain during my second pregnancy). You grocery shop and then leave the groceries at the store (my cousin and dear friend, right after the birth of her second child). You make up your child's bed neatly and, in the meantime, he or she is hard at work sabotaging your latest manuscript (kids love laptops, especially mine!). You go to work to provide family financial stability, but in the end you have no time to spend with the family you are working so hard for.

Mothers, the original gurus of multi-tasking, can have a pretty long "stress" list. In fact, the more we multi-task, the more stressed and less efficient we become. (can I get an amen there?)

So this week, I will share "real time" stress relief secrets. This means I will offer up stress relief tips that work in real life - like the ones I use while I try to get my kids to nap so I can finish this blog or the ones I use when the kids spew their oatmeal at each other as I (try to) concentrate on answering work email - you know - that kind of "real time".

Even now, as I work, I am listening to my oldest sing his own nonstop rendition (by request) of happy birthday to his brother (it's not his birthday) while they "nap." So here it goes....

7 Ways to Stop Mommy/Wife Stress In Its Tracks:

1. Stressful Scenario: The kids are not listening to you (boy if I had a nickel for every time this happened).
   
2. Solution: Whisper, don't shout. I use to shout, but after a year of chronically losing my voice I learned something neat. When I spoke in a tone closer to a whisper than a shout, my kids listened more. Also, stick around until you get the results you are looking for. In yoga speak, this means helping a student align their pose, then not moving on to the next student until they have achieved the safe alignment you want. The same is true with children. To get them to nap, I hung around outside their bedroom door. (I recently moved them into a shared room, so bed time has gotten very interesting.) Each time I would hear little feet on the floor, I would open the door and calmly remind them to stay in their beds. I also tossed in a carrot - I told them "we will have more time for fun after their nap if they go to sleep now." The results were profound.
3. Benefit: You don't have to get anymore headaches from listening to your head roar. You can prevent wrinkles from not having to twist up your face in exasperation all the time. Your posture will improve because you can take the time to bend down on one knee and explain to them why they are in trouble, instead of hunching over or throwing your head back to get your voice to travel the furthest distance at the loudest volume possible. Lastly, your shouts become more effective when they are truly needed (like a dangerous situation of running into traffic, etc.), They will be less likely to think you are "crying wolf" and will be much more receptive to you. I get lots more "I wuv you's (I love you's) from my kids for shouting less and speaking gently more.

1. Scenario: Your husband is not listening to you. (hmm, another nickel anyone?)
2. Solution: One of my biggest pet peeves is repeating myself. And, there is nothing worse than repeating yourself when no one is listening. So when this scenario arises, I remind myself that no one is a perfect listener. In addition, not many people digest information after they've only heard it once. (can anyone pass that physics or biology test after only reading the information once?) Remind yourself that everyone is fragile and you are not the center of the universe. Your husband is likely as stressed as you are. Ask him what he may need to get off his chest as well. The fact is, how well can you pay attention to details if you are already overwhelmed with information (aka hyper stimulated)? If these reminders do not work, send your partner an email or write a short letter. Consider it a "love letter". A means for really slowing down to say what you mean. When is the last time you wrote one a love letter to your partner? Do it today. Lastly, try to avoid working out problems during chaotic times. I am not a procrastinator. In fact, I am the anti-thesis of a procrastinator. But for working on marital bliss with your partner, sometimes procrastination is a good thing. Instead of trying to work through a disagreement while the kids are also melting down, postpone it. The immediacy of what you disagreed over will subside. Let yourself mellow for a while (not steep!), and see if you can speak about it when the situation has calmed itself.
   
3. Benefit: Improved communication, hands down. By far, the biggest troublemaker in a relationship is lack of or ineffective communication. Usually, it is because of anger or expectations. (i.e. You get angry because expectations were not met. For example, "I thought you were going to pick up the groceries. or I thought Friday was our date night? or I cannot believe you said that to me.") Explain what you mean, without animosity or hidden agenda. If you cannot do it out loud, do it in writing. Many times, you can explain things better if you write them out first, and you are less likely to let anger dictate your speech.

Stay tuned...5 More Stress Busters to come this week!

*photo taken in June of this year during a trip to Grandfather mountain. ...a typical day in the life of any mother....

Freedom to Live Your Life, But Are You?

The days pass slowly, the years fly quickly by. If I had a nickel for every time someone has said this to me, I might be out of debt by now.

I actually do not dread hearing those words, and I appreciate hearing them each time a well meaning older parent says them.

For those of you who may not have heard those words, what I am talking about is this: our children grow up fast. Shorter still, the time that passes from the moment they are born until they enter kindergarten seems to pass by faster still.

Last week I left for another teaching weekend, this time in Lexington, KY, as I wrote earlier in my blog this week. My older son is having an increasingly harder time when "mommy leaves" for work weeks or weekends. He is aware that I will be gone for several days at at time. While I was gone, my husband said at bedtime he prayed that "mommy's plane doesn't crash." The next morning when he awoke, my husband asked him what he dreamed about. In his 3.5 year old voice he replied, "I dweamed mommy came home and gave me wots of hugs and kisses."

Children are aware. Our families are aware. Our society visibly suffers when the family suffers. Our work schedules and agendas are increasingly filled, even with good things like music lessons, community projects, and charity fundraisers. However, despite all the "good stuff" we fill our schedules with, we emerge more tired and glassy eyed than ever...and with less time to actually spend nurturing our family.

Last night I had choral practice for our tri-county Choral Society. It was only a two hour practice but when I told my older son goodbye he got very reserved and his chin began to tremble.

He had just spent 9 hours in daycare and I had only a quick dinner before I left again (after not seeing him for 4 days while I worked all weekend...moms sound familiar?). He was worried I was leaving him for an extended time again. I promised him I was not, and then I gave him hugs and kisses and left for practice. When I returned at 9:30 (way past his bedtime), he was waiting for me at the door, dressed in his Thomas the Train pajamas, sitting in his great grandfather's handmade wicker chair, writing his name on a sheet of paper. When I opened the door he said, "Mommy, I missed you."

I am acutely aware that my children will be grown and gone before I can comprehend it. Each day my husband and I mourn and celebrate their growth, because we fully appreciate the brevity of life.

Here are a few things I have been practicing this year, to help set protective boundaries around our family time in order to truly value and love them:

EXERCISING YOUR FREEDOM TO LIVE

1. Minimizing daycare: my husband and I alternate our work schedules so our children only have to spend 1 day in daycare a week. This creates the majority of our fatigue, because we must work at odd hours and sometimes on weekends and nights. However, it is the only method, while our children are young, which we have found to maximize our time together as a family. This may not work for all families. Sometimes daycare is unavoidable but I would recommend shopping for a daycare that is flexible and truly accommodates to the needs of each child. I have friends and colleagues who have "second mothers" in their daycare providers and are grateful for the "extended family" bond that their daycare provides. Either way, realize we DO have the freedom to choose. Society may not reward us for putting our children and families first, but the future of our planet rests on it.
   
2. Families that play together, stay together: This may sound obvious as well as easy, but it is not the case. We realize that unless we set time aside for family oriented activities, we will continue to be consumed with the demands of daily life. For example, yard work, home repairs and renovations, as well as daily errand running and household management alone could occupy all your time. Oftentimes, taking care of business leaves your kids to constantly self entertain while mommy answers work email or daddy mows the lawn or vice-versa. Try having a "family meeting" to poll your kids about what they want to do as a family. Then, make it happen within your budget. Get creative if you can't afford "Disneyworld". Go on a family camping trip, hike, local theme park, or take a roadtrip to visit family.
   
3. Set boundaries: We are all aware that corporate life slowly eats into family life, so many of us have set boundaries in that arena. We come home on time, we work from home offices, we compress our work schedules, we actually use all of our vacation/leave, and we give up job promotions for family promotions i.e. to have a quality family life. However, for those of us who have reigned in our work boundaries, are we doing anything about the "good activities" in our life - children's playgroups, sports and art activities, local volunteerism, church or temple work, etc. Sometimes we even have to pare down the "good" activities if they are a detriment to our family life. My husband and I recently did that. It was difficult, and we lost income, career exposure, and didn't get to pursue some extracurricular outlets we like to - but the career & personal time hit was worth it. We all are less stressed, more organized, and very grateful for the time together.
   
4. Count Your Blessings: When I think back to the time before I met my husband and before we had children, I am reminded how blessed we are today. My husband and I waited a LONG time to have children. Truly, we waited our whole lives for the family we have today. So I frequently count my blessings by recalling where I came from and how far I have come.
5. Choose your charity and community work carefully: A mentor once suggested that although all activities in your life may be good, they may not all be necessarily good for you at one time! At all seasons in our life, we have a host of opportunities to choose from. Young families struggle to balance work and family, families with older children struggle to balance their children's extracurricular activities with their own, empty nesters and retirees or grandparents also have their own set of struggles. However, at all seasons, there are activities that are BEST for you, and ones that although are good - are not your BEST option. For example, I limit which charity organizations I become involved in so I can focus on being effective. For others, this is making your child choose no more than 2 extracurricular activities per semester. To me, there would be nothing worse than being a jack of all trades and master of none. I don't want to be a person that starts one project and then leave it in the wake of starting another. Our whole family practices this as a kind of mantra, if you will. We keep all our activities on a consolidated calendar so we can prevent it from "overflowing."
   

In this way, in the words of Jonathan Swift,
"may we live all the days of our life." I believe we can.

*photo taken of our children during "box play" time. They had found a box and decided to get creative with it.

Giving Tree Found

The wisdom gleaned from motherhood, and parenthood, truly permeates the soul and holds eternal value.

Now as Friday's go, people are usually relieved to reach a week's end. Last Friday was no different, as the week had been particularly stressful as week's go.

So last Friday my 3.5 year old son was sharing a moment with me while I was doing a quick "hat" change (going from work day to evening play). I was mentally reviewing the week's stress and previewing the upcoming week's tasks when, in an attempt to gain my attention, he pointed to a painting of a tree, one I've had for ages that hangs in our bathroom.

He said, "look mom, it's the giffing twee! (no typo - this is what he said, but what he actually meant was "look mom, it's the Giving Tree")." I had checked out "The Giving Tree" at our local library a week earlier, and it has since become my son's favorite book. Clearly, he has been affected by Shel's book.

More wisdom from the mouth of babes. I knew that I was failing to see priorities clearly in that moment, and was too caught up in the remains of the day (and those of future days) to consider what (who) was in front of me, and what was passing me by as a result of my own self-centered interests.

I was convicted in my tracks. I stopped all my thoughts, everything I was doing, knelt down beside him and put my arm around him so we could look up at the big tree painting together.

"Yes," I said, "that IS the giving tree. How amazing! Thank you Michael for reminding me. I never want to forget this moment. Ever." He glowed with contentment.

I knew who my giving tree was that day.

Who is your giving tree today?


*The Giving Tree, written by Shel Silverstein in 1964, is a book about a tree who loves a little boy, so much that she does a very surprising thing for the little boy.

Direct Hit

Therapeutic yoga classes are a regular occurrence for me, whether I am teaching students or training therapists. I usually share inspirational readings or song when I teach, but last Monday's lesson came packaged in a personal experience.

Sunday, August 2, I penned on my facebook profile, "shutting down the computers, here comes the rain....nothing like a good thunderstorm." My son woke from his nap and so my husband, my son, and I went upstairs to the sun room to enjoy the view of the incoming storm. We love a rainy day as much as a sunny one (think of a beautifully dreary day with a little Miles Davis in the background and your hand wrapped around a cup of jasmine pearl green tea with local honey). My older son had awaken with the preliminary thunder, which he is petrified of, so he was sitting in my lap when it happened.

The most painfully loud, frying electrical sound I've ever heard, we could not peer out of the windows in our house, because of the hard rain against the screens, to see where the direct hit had been. Lightening, we knew it was, but it still took a minute (after our collective reflexive shriek) for the reality to register. We knew the proximity of the flash of light and deafening noise meant it was very very close. Too close.

I went downstairs to peer through the doors with windows to try and see what I could see, and that is when I saw the flood of water rushing down the hill next to our yard. After the storm had subsided, we surveyed the damage quickly and waited on the water company (whom we had phoned immediately) to show up and shut down the lines. Less than 10 minutes past before the water was shut down, but by then the place where our whole family had been standing had caved in, more than 6 feet deep into the ground.

Fortunately no one was hurt, and as this week passes we are still tallying the damage to the contents of our home. However, I see my story as one filled with gratitude.

You see, yesterday was the first day I had internet again. We no longer have tv or movies to watch, or music to listen to (what is most greatly missed by our family), or computers to distract us. The loss of material wealth has been quickly appreciated in our home. Our family has spent more family time together, and through this storm our deep sense of appreciation for each other has been reignited, as we are poignantly reminded of the blessings of our safety and for what we do have. And most importantly, my husband and I have most definitely spent less than time working (a much needed phenomenon).

Although we have more work loaded on our family in order to repair, fix, and replace what was damaged, my story if filled with immense gratitude. For every experience we have, good or bad, should cause us to lift up our heads to the sky and glean the beauty in it.

In a country that has a heavier workload than any other country, including Japan, sometimes it takes a lightening strike, a storm, an accident, an illness - to force us to slow down and appreciate the bounty of our blessings and the immense wealth we possess (which has nothing to do with our flatscreen tv's, laptops, or iPods).

In our frail and attention deficit ridden country, sometimes (too often), to get our attention, it takes a direct hit.

The lesson in this is not to expect a direct hit, loss, or tragedy, but this: No matter that my family is digging out from a direct hit to our tangible wealth, I still love a good storm. For pain and pleasure are separable by only a thin, sometimes invisible line. Find the Good in both.

*photo by Dr. Steven Horsburgh

Teaching PYT I/II combo in St. John, USVI

I am writing from location in St. John this week, where I am teaching a Professional Yoga Therapy combination yoga therapist intensive training. This photo was taken yesterday at sunset from our villa balcony, Sunday, May 3. It is like living in a tree house, high above the tropical forest.

Today's weather is a stark contrast. It is the most blustery rainy day I have experienced in a long while. Occasional clapping, attention getting thunder, refreshing cool showers (with the occasional gully washer downpour!), it has been raining for 6 hours straight.
Today's monsoon-like thunderstorm, just like yesterday's sunny, clear blue sky - are both equally beautiful and perfect.
Whether it rains or it shines - I lift my head in thanksgiving.