Living Wide Awake in 2011

Introspection
(Our Family Christmas Vacation 2010)

Reflection. You see your own in the mirror day in, day out.

But who do see?  The person you were, the person you are, or the person you want to become?

Self-reflection is recognized as a universal requirement for learning.  Maxine Greene PhD, who entered the field of education in 1938 and established herself early on at Columbia University as the "lone female voice" in a male dominated philosophy of education, has this to say about reflection:

"...you can be submerged in the crowd, and if you're submerged in the crowd and have no opportunity to think for yourself, to look through your own eyes, life is dull and flat and boring," she says. "The only way to really awaken to life, awaken to the possibilities, is to be self-aware."

Greene likens reflection to "wide-awakeness." "Without the ability to think about yourself, to reflect on your life, there's really no awareness, no consciousness. Consciousness doesn't come automatically; it comes through being alive, awake, curious, and often furious."

Living "Wide-Awake"

My self reflection practice has revealed to me, through the years, these two truths. Though simple, they have had a profound effect on ordering my life for greatest growth and success.

1. Write in pencil.  As I order my days and set goals for myself, I now only write in pencil. Whether on my family or google calendar I can swiftly erase or delete whatever no longer serves me or my family's best interests.  Putting away the ink pen has freed me to invite new experiences into my life.  I am more flexible as a parent and professional and realize I can flow with life's changes gracefully. Wielding a pencil instead of a pen has allowed me to let go so I can grow.
   
   Time has a way of showing us all - that we are not in control.  Sooner or later, we have to learn that flexibility, not rigidity, serves us best. My wake up call was my 2 year old son's emergency heart surgery. With his diagnosis and the surgeon's curt announcement, "your son will need cardiothoracic surgery within the month..."  suddenly my packed work schedule and all the responsibilities that I had tied to it - paled and fell away.  I found myself waiting outside the pediatric neo-natal intensive care unit - pacing and praying for my son's life. 
   
   That experience demanded that I write in pencil. Now I don't wait for the proverbial shoe to drop before self-reflecting. I do it every time I plan an event in my calendar.
   
   
2. Omit possessive vocabulary.  I began this practice more than a decade ago, during a humanitarian trip to Alaska to help a community of Native Americans. That trip showed my that nothing I have is mine. It is only gifted to me while I am here on earth. Being Native American myself, I was reminded by this beautiful family of Alaskan Indians that the "my" we use so often - doesn't really exist.
   
   That year I stopped using the word "my."  "My" belongings or "my business" or  "my skills" were no longer mine. They belonged to a greater good that had nothing to do with me but everything to do with how I used what was entrusted to me and what lasting effect is has in this world.  This small practice also helped me more earnestly apply the yogic principle of non-attachment.  Situations in life were no longer mine, and as a result, I was able to look at them through a more objective, level-headed, and less emotionally possessive lens.
   
   As a result, relationships I had with others also improved.  Annoying habits or hurtful behaviors from others were just that - only habits or behaviors - but they did not own the person.  As a result, I was able to detach the bad experience from the person, which left me free to forgive and open myself up to healing and growth in the relationship.

Resources
Here are a few blogs from BITL and other bloggers which can help you on the path toward growth and wisdom in 2011.

Self-Reflection: How To Do It Right
Freedom To Live Your Life: But Are You?
Midwife For Your Life
Is Your Life in Perspective?
The Person Next To You Is
Self Reflection for Entrepreneurs
Self Reflect Instead of Self Neglect

Happiness Inventory, part 3 of 3 (Lose Weight for Good)

As promised, here are the last 5 tips in the Happiness Inventory, part 3 (Losing Weight for Good).  If you didn't get to read the first two parts, here they are:
Happiness Inventory, part 1
Happiness Inventory, part 2







6.     Don't eat until you have had your morning (um) visit to the potty. Ayurvedic medicine teaches that the health of a person depends on the health of their gut.  That is to say delicately, if your belly isn't happy, then you aren't either. One of the 13 urges not to be avoided in Ayurveda is elimination.  If you do have problems with digestion seek out the help of a holistic practitioner - which could be a physician, naturopath, TCM physician, or Ayurvedic practitioner.  Medical professionals trained in both east/west medicine can help you get your gut back on track to a happy existence - leading to better digestion, metabolism, nutrient absorption, and a healthier (and trimmer) you.

7.     Never eat while multi-tasking. If you are doing something else while you are eating, chances are you are not paying attention to what (or how much) you are eating. Focus on the experience of eating, and nothing more.  You will enjoy your food, those you are in the company of, and be able to control portion sizes much easier. Read more

8.     Not hungry? It's okay to skip a meal.  We have been very conditioned to never skip meals - whether by our mothers (sorry mom!), pop culture fitness magazines, or professionals.  However, not skipping meals has led to "autopilot" eating, or eating just because the clock strikes "breakfast, lunch, and dinner."   

Don't eat out of habit. Eat when you are hungry. In fact, there is so much bad press about skipping meals - it is hard to find anyone who dares condone skipping a meal or snack.  However, you need to ask yourself a very important question? Why are you hungry? Is it boredom, stress, habit, or you are actually hungry? If you are truly hungry, by all means - eat and nourish your body.  If you are not, wait until you are hungry - then truly savor and enjoy your meal.

Eat to live, as the old adage says, rather than live to eat.

*If you are diabetic, then you need a carefully scripted plan from your nutritionist - who will help you decide when and what you should eat - and above all - how to determine when and if you truly need food.

9.     Pray. Meditate or pray to cultivate the courage, fortitude, and strength to carry out your goal of enjoying a happy weight.  Quite often we pray or meditate for our own health or the health and well being of others. But, are we being specific enough?

My prayer is "May the food I take in nurture, strengthen, and fortify my body for the good work I need to pursue on this earth. If it does not or will not, then may my stomach (and nose) be turned off by the sight or smell of it."  It seems simple - but prayer and meditation continue to be my "super-duper" secret weight management weapons. 

10.     Know When to Stop Eating.    One of the most powerful tools that has taken me the greatest distance (besides switching to an organic, local, and seasonal diet) in maintaining a healthy weight is knowing when to stop eating. 

Your satiety center signals lets you know when to stop eating.  What is satiety? Satiety is not feeling full, but rather feeling satisfied. This means your stomach will not feel full. Being satsifed feels like you have a little "wiggle" room and are comfortable and light - like you could take a brisk walk and not feel heavy from food.  Stop eating at the first sign of satisfaction. In other words, don't eat until your stomach feels full. 

Mindful eating allows the hypothalamus cells (satiety center) time to get signals and suppress the desire for further food. If you eat quickly, mindlessly (while driving or at your desk for example), or until your stomach actually feels full, then you have likely overeaten. Your stomach will feel stretched and you'll have that "gotta unbutton my pants" feeling.

Happy Eating & Breathing In This Life!

Happiness Inventory, part 2 (Lose Weight for Good!) of 3

In my last blog, I discussed how to steer your life in the direction of contentment with the Happiness Inventory. As I promised, today's part 2 of the Happiness Inventory will discuss the dreaded but hotly pursued topic: women trying to maintain a healthy weight.  

A few months ago when I was singing as part of a professional chorus in a production of Mozart's Requiem, several women approached me and said, "I wish I was your size."  I was quick to point out that "my size" did not come naturally - I had to work at it.  They were surprised.

A common misconception is that thin people are just thin by nature - no matter what they do.  However, I wanted them to understand that I was listening and understood their frustrations. I had experienced them personally.

Let me start by saying two things.  I am a woman. And yes, I have had weight issues in the past. 

Now I've said it - I am a card carrying member of the "I am a woman who struggles with her weight" club.  In fact, I bet there isn't a woman who doesn't belong to this club.

However, after being pregnant with and giving birth to two (big) healthy boys, I have another confession to make.  I struggle with my weight less than I ever have, and have (finally) made peace with my body and self-image.  Now that is a club of which I am relieved to be a member.

The women at the Requiem performance who approached me aren't the first to do so.  Almost everywhere I go I hear the comment "wow, you are lean, you look great, it must be easy for you."  I want all women to know I empathize with them. I've walked in your shoes. 

I also want them to experience the joy and freedom I have owned since shedding my weight struggle. Below is the regime I use in coaching women on weight management and wellness.

Making Peace with Your Weight (aka Losing Weight For Good)

I used to be 25 pounds heavier than I am now.  After I gave birth to my son I lost a whopping 60 pounds.  Then, I had to do it all over again with my second son.

The road to wellness - finding that happy setpoint on the scale - comes when we seriously begin to follow these important points: 

1. Focus on quality, not quantity.  Too many Americans consider quantity of food synonymous with quality. 
   
   In restaurants:  people rave about  a restaurant because the portions sizes are huge.  However, are those massive plates of food of high quality, or even mid-range quality?  I doubt it.
   
   Organic food has come under fire recently.  Researchers have made the claim that organic food is no better than conventionally grown food. However, the questions asked in the research are skewed. "Quality" was not defined.  It was only concluded that "yes," the "quality" of organic food was the same as conventional food. However, if they asked whether or not conventional food shared the same nutritional quality - the answer is no.  Organic food is typically smaller than conventional. (hence quality over quantity)  However, the nutritional quality of organic food is higher.  And in that restaurant with huge portions - you are not likely to get thoughtfully and carefully prepared organic food with the best nutritional density.
   
   In the grocery: Ask yourself - would you rather have a huge tomato with no taste, or a smaller, fresh tomato right out of the garden?  Conventional tomatoes are typically sprayed with CO2 to make them ripen, so they can be picked green and weather a beating during the long truck ride to the grocery store.  However, foodies know the difference and will shun the CO2 tomatoes in an instant for those juicy, sun ripened tomatoes off the local farmer's vine. And when you are trying to lose weight, you need food with the most nutrition packed punch per calorie. There can be no calories wasted on foods devoid of nutritional value.
    
   Focusing on quality of food, rather than quantity, will help you cut back on portion sizes as well. The American Cancer Society and the American Diabetes Association both recommend cutting portion sizes as a guaranteed method for losing or managing a healthy weight.  And, Europeans have long been lauded for their ability to eat rich, heavy, and high fat foods while maintaining a healthy weight and low rates of heart disease, obesity, and other chronic diseases. 
   
   Futhermore, eating smaller portions of "real" foods versus massive portions of low fat, processed, or no fat foods can help you lose weight.  The satiety center in your brain is not tricked into feeling full when you eat low fat, no fat, or highly processed foods (like high fructose corn syrup).  Therefore, people end up overriding messages of fullness because the satiety center in the brain does not flip the "I'm full" switch. I only buy "real" food - not overly processed no fat or low fat foods.  My family can enjoys a full range of recipes - nothing is off limits as long as it is a whole food - we just enjoy smaller portion sizes of them.  Read more
   
2. Eat fresh, seasonal, and organic.  Really, you can do it. Go "cold turkey."  Purge your pantry and stop eating all processed food.  After you read this article - go and start your pantry purge. Today.  Be ruthless. Here's how to start.
   
   This means no fast food, convenience food, or boxed food.  Fresh, seasonal, and/or organic food typically travels less distance (better for the planet), has been processed less (better for you), and is likely to please your palate far better.  Pesticides have been linked to infertility and birth defects because our bodies cannot process them. Hormones and antibiotics in foods are also linked to early anti-biotic resistance to infections, certain cancers, depressed immune function, and early puberty in adolescence. Conventionally grown (non-organic) foods can be full of them. Make the switch to a seasonal, organic diet.  Read more.  How to Eat A Seasonal Diet
   Get a list of the Dirty Dozen Fruits & Veggies
   
3. Avoid wheat like the plague.  Eating wheat can cause a histamine response which is responsible for creating inflammation in the body.  The inflammatory response is to blame for many chronic diseases, and can play a role in everything from gas, bloating, and water retention to heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. I cut out wheat years ago, and though not all people are sensitive to wheat - everyone can benefit from following an Anti-Inflammatory Diet.  Reference for following an Anti-Inflammatory Diet. Get a copy of Dr. Weil's Anti-Inflammatory Food Pyramid
   
4. Cut back on exercise. This tip may seem counter-intuitive.  However if you are eating too much food or not enough of the right food, all the exercise in the world won't help you reach your target weight. For the over 70% of Americans who don't get enough physical activity, this tip doesn't apply.  However, if you are getting the recommended amount of activity, then you may need to take a harder look at your dietary habits.  As a therapist in the wellness industry for almost 20 years, I constantly coach clients that it takes more than exercise to be fit.  In other words, keep up the exercise, but don't count on it to exclusively help you find or maintain a healthy weight.
   
5. Only eat after hunger strikes. Twice.  Your first hunger pains can typically be a sign of dehydration. The next time hunger strikes, try drinking a glass of water first. If your hunger does not subside, then eat.  If your hunger goes away, problem solved. You were probably just dehydrated. Drinking enough water first (follow the 8 x 8 rule) will help you discern when you are truly hungry.

Happy Eating and Breathing In This Life! Next week will be the final installment - the last 5 tips on Losing Weight for Good. 

For More Information, read about:
Slow Food Movement
The Daily Green
The Green Guide

Happiness Inventory, part 1

Are you happy? The Pursuit of Happiness in today's hyperactive, super-stimulated, and over-medicated society seems to be subtitled with the phrase "Immediate Gratification" or "If it feels good do it."


However, if we take a look around Wall Street or Main Street we can see where that mantra (motto) has gotten us. Under a looming dark cloud of a possible double dip recession (we're not out of the storm, yet), Americans have been pulling back - living on cash rather than credit, and downsizing not super-sizing.


Blogs like Zen Habits top Time's Best Blogs of the year list (a great blog, by the way) - and we are shooting off down the rabbit path toward minimalism and simplicity? But are we really? And where is it getting us?


Regardless of whether you like the edgy lines of modern minimalism or the classical comfort of cottage living - the bottom line is - we all actively pursue happiness in our lives. So do I.


The Happiness Inventory, or I prefer to call it "Contentment Quotient," is something I started about 10 years ago. I used to fill it out every New Year but now I revisit it all year long. It keeps my priorities in check, gives me clarity in decision making, and helps me find (and keep) contentment.


If an opportunity crops up in my life - and it does not mesh with my Happiness Inventory - I say no to it. This is not easy to do. Sometimes I have to turn down a perfectly good opportunity (job, project, etc.) because I know it is not a part of my ultimate Happiness Plan.

The Happiness Inventory includes a 10 Question Inventory and information on how to narrow your focus for a more effective, contented, satisfied life.

Download the Happiness Inventory Here

May You Live All the Days Of Your Life. ~Jonathan Swift

In part 2 of the Happiness Inventory, I'll be addressing women and effective weight management - and how it ties into your Happiness Plan.

Part Three: Get It! Instant Energy & Mood Lift

Click here to download Part 3 in a 5 part series
on how to improve energy and lift your mood
in less than 3 minutes a day!



Don't forgot to download part 1 & 2 from this week

Part Two: Get It! Instant Energy & Improved Mood, Part 2 of 5

Here it is ladies! Part 2 in a 5 part series on how to improve your mood and increase your energy in less than 3 minutes a day.


Don't forget to download yesterday's program as well. A quick and easy one page "how to"!

click here to download your free copy

Get It! Instant Energy & Improved Mood, Part 1 of 5

Mothers and women - if you polled us a group, how many of you would raise your hand and say you have been overly tired or in a poor state of mind in the past week? in the past month? in the past year?

Perhaps the whole lot of us would raise our hands in the affirmative. It is no secret that women suffer from fatigue and depressive* disorders more frequently than men.
In fact, many of the diagnoses connected to these symptoms were not even "believed" to exist until very recent history.

But as women, we know our bodies. As a health care practitioner, I have long supported many women with chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, & longstanding depressive symptoms in my clinical practice. Even as late as the 1970's, grief was not even supported as an actual state of being. So it is no surprise that women have been unable to figure out what was "wrong" with them through the years. Unable to fit into a neat medical chart, their symptoms piled up- exacerbated by their mounting responsibilities as women, mothers, and human beings.

Through the years though, medicine has come to recognize that there is a psycho-emotional body, an energetic body - and it greatly affects the physical body. Women in my practice continue to improve in health when they receive compassionate physical therapy blended with a multi-cultural approach to healing. This approach I call "elemental renewal", the ability to see the person, not just the diagnosis. The ability to see all facets of the person and create a therapy program just for them.

The most common life experiences which can contribute to the "super fatigue" and mood shifts are, you guessed it, pregnancy, post-partum, life changes, job related stress, and the constant state of stress that is associated with child rearing and otherwise existing on this planet as a woman and/or mother.

In my practice, my first line of defense in helping women is teaching them how to breathe. So this week, I am going to dedicate the entire week to teaching you how to breathe - one day at a time, one breath at a time.

Each day this week, you will learn a different breath type so that you can have your own personal energy and mood lifting practice. In fact, sometimes I only need 2-3 minutes of concentrated breathing to turn my day around!

Read on to learn how you are only 2-3 minutes away from an instant energy and mood lift...

*If you are concerned about depression, please click here to learn more.